Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
tomorrow a week for me being around ex-state hospital patients and some of the mentally ill living in group homes---in order to deal with tomorrow being a week my cat was put to sleep.
A week of spending some time with them at my nearby drop-in for the mentally ill; talked, played some board games, met 2 nice people from dropin of 10 years ago, even caught some old tcm movies on tv with some sort of mental illness themes!
It certainly beats eternally staying in my apt, to be reminded that I once had a cat I spent maybe 22 hours a day with.
A week ago I was desperate enough to replace the major hell of no longer having a cat, with the lesser hell of being involved with the mental health professionals I had problems with 10 years ago. For the best that didn't turn out right, so that now a couple hours a day to hang out at the drop-in.
Some of the women have had kids who went to college, though the women themselves are maybe worse than me right now. One though, who I met back in 2001, she has had various jobs, various apartments, had a fianc, has 2 kids in college, she drives; I always thought she was attractive. But, a couple days ago, when gray haired 55 year old me couldn't remember something, 43? year old her said, in her innocent voice: "I guess when you get OLD you forget stuff." It's kinda funny, in the way dennis the menace innocently talked to mr Wilson.
Back to the drop-in later today, though now ABLE to spend less time there and more in my apartment than I could a week ago; it certainly cured some/lot of my loneliness. And, it probably is a place and people I belong to, even if I don't want to admit it.
A week of spending some time with them at my nearby drop-in for the mentally ill; talked, played some board games, met 2 nice people from dropin of 10 years ago, even caught some old tcm movies on tv with some sort of mental illness themes!
It certainly beats eternally staying in my apt, to be reminded that I once had a cat I spent maybe 22 hours a day with.
A week ago I was desperate enough to replace the major hell of no longer having a cat, with the lesser hell of being involved with the mental health professionals I had problems with 10 years ago. For the best that didn't turn out right, so that now a couple hours a day to hang out at the drop-in.
Some of the women have had kids who went to college, though the women themselves are maybe worse than me right now. One though, who I met back in 2001, she has had various jobs, various apartments, had a fianc, has 2 kids in college, she drives; I always thought she was attractive. But, a couple days ago, when gray haired 55 year old me couldn't remember something, 43? year old her said, in her innocent voice: "I guess when you get OLD you forget stuff." It's kinda funny, in the way dennis the menace innocently talked to mr Wilson.
Back to the drop-in later today, though now ABLE to spend less time there and more in my apartment than I could a week ago; it certainly cured some/lot of my loneliness. And, it probably is a place and people I belong to, even if I don't want to admit it.
-
I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
-
check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
OTOH, can that be done in that envirinment?
Then avain, are there materials from/of your own pastimes you could take when you go. Say a half dozen movie DVDs, for them to choose from. Or music; hey anyone like Miles Davis?, zydeco (Cajun?)... Hell when a teen I used to like Lawrence Welk, and if I were in a slightly oppressive atmosphere I'd revisit. That would be interesting.
Johnny Cash..., two or three Beetles alnums to choose from. Maybe turn some of them on to Pete Seegar :)
I'be a few books of art and of photography. Maybe some of the people/ppl there would enjoy...
I "just" have to balance time in my apt, with time there; I'm also glad that all the people with street smarts seem to be gone from the place; that was a big problem in the past.
I've been thinking, this morning, of the guy who used to yell at me, including "GET OVER IT!", and who also joked of how people at the old dropin only listened to him cause they were afraid of him....and his buddy, who was in the police news twice, for whatever domestic troubles, just might, allegedly, be "working" at the other social program in town as a way to hook up with high functioning female clients. "Paid volunteers" cant get in trouble for doing that.
the above duo aren't the "they turned their life around types", but more like street smart high functioning alpha males on disability. whatever the other social program is all about, maybe it involves handing out Xeroxed mental health help, and getting paid to drive clients around (free gas is inself a good racket).
ten years ago, somebody more vocal than me, complained to me how they wished there were actual professional staff at such a place, with the dropin at the time, cause, as he put it, about the "volunteers", on disability, who get some sort of pay....."they're on disability, just like us, why should I listen to what they have to say?"
I'll NEVER bring this up in real life; the people I'm around wouldn't understand, and it might be the end of me, too. But if you kinda understand what I'm writing about, maybe you can post a reply of a word or two.
I just got in from the drop-in, with a duo talking about whatever drama going on at the other place that they go to, the other place I just wrote about. Maybe such drama...from a distance...might even help me feel I'm part of civilization again.
I ate at a restaurant earlier, and when I went to pay for my meal, the owner asked if I was willing to go to nearby store for potatos!----even doing that was better than...nothing;)
I can be very glad the other place, that I go to, has changed, with the street smart crowd gone (I hope). Last year somebody I talked to in the nearby park told me they wanted to drink a beer!, at the place, to honor somebody who died---he was surprised that they couldn't do that.
I'm in a mood to be able to laugh at that, though I can imagine tax payers and conservatives not finding funny such a place for mentally ill to...hang out.
Have been pondering on how the norms there r enforced, and by whom. When i hear "they're not allowed to" the beer, it gits me that (of course) there are managers who are not there. . .but who are still keeping an eye on the place.
And to whom people run to with complaints. And stories. Patrons of the place tattle.
Well what these ovedseers are willing to believe has to be of certain kinds. Verifiable?, not motivated by pettiness (by *their* standards).
Previous I somehow had the notion the patrons had just arrived at a concept of right and wrk.g over there -- allby themsves. The bullies I think have a finely developed smell for what they can an can't get away with. Not that there any there always. But when a new one comes along, he starts licking ul from the rest
"it's all about the money....it's a racket"----a lawyer and a different lawyer's secretary said to me when I casually complained about this place years ago, in conversation about something else.
I have the sense that the educated professionals, who show up maybe once a month, for a meeting for a couple hours, really look down on everybody with mental illness as just a bunch of bums and kids they have to babysit----so they are probably happy the alpha males/prison trustees keep everybody in line.
thanks for mentioning bullies...the paid volunteer, on disability, who ran the drop in 10 years ago, seemed to yell at nerd me, the most, with a # others having no complaints about him.
Sometime before, he even joked to me that he got to run the place cause he used to get drunk with the ex-husband of the woman who originated the dropin in town.
I keep on thinking of the 1960s paul newman movie, HUD...paul newman's hud, on disability, in charge of a dropin for the mentally ill.
the guy I'm complaining about doesn't run the place now---which is why i'll even be going there in about 10 minutes.
anyway I am not saying to use this gal but time will tell if she is going to try to become one friend you could count on for something that would help you on occasions....since you know her abilities and her defects and can decide of course if you want to be her friend.....I wish I knew a female with no car that would like to hang out with me and be friends even if I gave her rides places I would only go to help her out...it would make me feel better than depressed about loneliness....
I have been a client of a number of psychiatric institutions...
I have also been a counselor...
As a resident, I saw much... Too much... Apathy, rudeness, insolence, degradation, neglect, etc... All that comes with a paycheck and all that is given with no compassion or commitment to the clients...
It was from the viewpoint of the client I chose to follow that professional path...
To make changes, to address concerns, to assure safety and well being, and, most importantly, to acknowledge the HUMANITY of the individuals in my care...
Needless to say I was fired... I stirred the pot far too much having gone against the grain... I refused to allow what was happening to continue... I made too many enemies... The only thing I miss about working at that facility are the clients... I miss nothing else...
I have been on both sides of the fence... It is an interesting perspective from which to look...
I feel the most stupid about what I wrote about my frustration with the equally clueless miss, though its still kinda funny.
10 years ago, I noticed how the nice, caring, ones connected with my hometown mental help group seem to have been kicked out or left pretty quick, with a lot of the incompetents remaining.
it reminds me of the final "mary tyler moore show" episode---in which the entire behind the camera hard working staff is fired, while bumbling ted baxter, news anchor, still has his job.
I'm very grateful you posted what you did.