Hey guys I just realized that I am not ready to date. I am getting emotions that I shouldn't really be having this early in a relationship. I got scared and I broke things off with her. I think I was kinda creeping her out as well. I kinda want to talk to her but I already left the break up text. I guess this is best for the both of us. I am not running from anything since I already screwed things up. You see I miss having something that I had and don't anymore. When I am in a relationship that has good potential of becoming something more I end up destroying it. I really liked this girl a lot and I started to jump ahead, not enjoying the time I had with her but trying to move to quickly so I can have that feeling of being whole again. I still don't feel whole without someone by my side. I feel empty. I have to address this before It is possible to move on to a serious relationship. It sucks because that's what I want more than anything right now.

This is what I am going to do. I'm going to figure out how I can feel whole again before I try to be with anyone. If I can't be happy by myself, I can't be happy with anyone else. I will date myself lol, do what makes me happy and become a better person for it.

That's my plan I'm not going to pursue things with this girl for fear of hurting her emotionally. I will leave her be. I'm not going to lie, it really hurts me a lot but I believe that it's the best thing to do. 1 step at a time stumbling occasionally I move forward.