Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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/ Loneliness Support Group

I'm close to giving up on trying to find friends.

insertawittyusername
insertawittyusername

It almost seems pointless. Most people my age want to settle down and stop living, if they've not already. They're not interested in making a proper connection with a fellow human being, probably because they already have their friends for life. At best, if I made a friend now, I'd be that person they'd call up to go for a drink if they were massively desperate. But I'd be the acquaintance, the one who is not important. But I'd never know that person or group properly, I'd be on the fringes like I was when I had a group of people I socialised with. If I had a few close friends, I'd fine with, it wouldn't be a big deal, but I have none so it's very demoralising. 


Everyone else my age wants to date and find a serious relationship, I've been on two dates recently, and my heart wasn't in either as dating in your twenties is close to torture. I just want some company with similar interests. Surely it's not unrealistic to want? I don't look forward to socialising in my thirties (it's close), it's talking about house prices with middle class frauds at a dinner party.


There's only one person in this world I want to date, except I barely know her, dating website profile and instagram aside, but I know she's the kind of person I want in every sense, and others would be a consolation prize at best. Oh, and she's taken as well! I don't see how things can genuinely improve from here. I've lost years of my life, and I could handle that if I was younger, but it's not going to get better, not really. It's all downhill. As the title say, I'm close to giving up, not quite there yet but it's very close.

lucillegem
lucillegem
Im sorry to hear you are struggling. Youve probably heard this before (or not) But im going to say it anyways... Love yourself and Be confident. There is a difference between 'loneliness' and 'solitude'. Its quite easy to feel sorry for ourselves especially when we are alone. I went 2 years without socializing with anyone and it was rough, but at the same time I learned so much about myself. That being alone isnt such a horrible thing. In fact, its good... I mean screw people and their insincerity and shallowness, being around people alot makes me appreciate those moments I do get when Im by myself. No people. No drama. And I am not bothered, I can do things I like... who cares if im sitting by myself in a coffee shop. Trust me, we do not need some sort of security blanket (people reassurance) to be Happy. Now, im not saying we dont need people... We are sociable creatures and we do need someone. What im trying to say is, That Its OKAY to be alone, somtimes, we are all alone essentially. It takes awhile to find those few people but you got to get out of your comfort zone. After 2 years of nothing I connected with a few people... And you know what, we dont have a lot in common, but they are genuinely kind. So, Id say... dont stress about relationships... if you click or dont click... It takes time to really get to know someone, give yourself a chance! and do your own thing. Honestly, people wont be attracted to someone who seems 'desperate'... Sorry, but im not going to sugar coat it. Its just how it is.... But, hey :) there are a lot of nice people here to connect with on DS! so, I hope you find some comfort here :) cheers!
P00hbear
P00hbear
I had such a difficult childhood and family life and lack of confidence, I honestly didn't start really making friends until I was in my 30's. That was the time when I was learning the most about myself - I don't still have all the friends I had in my 30's, but I still have a few, and I have met more friends in my 40's, now in a new phase of life and needing and wanting different things from my relationships and friendships. In my 20's, everything was more superficial, at least it seems like it was, looking back. Conversations in my 30's were about a lot more than house prices (though I know what you mean). Essentially, I'm saying don't give up hope - authentic friendships can happen later in life, and sometimes have more depth because of more maturity. These days, I don't have a lot of time to form new friendships, but I do still try when I meet people I like to make an effort and cultivate potential.
djchurn
djchurn
Revise your expectations down until you devise a plan to actively work at meeting people,Volunteer, go to a community rec center, church,...Friends will not come knocking on your door. Start out slow and do not expect immediate results.
kuroineko
kuroineko
ive been thinking about giving up trying to make friends too. Though I have a couple of friends but I rarely see or hear from them. I've even tried apps and websites. Hasn't worked. I hope you get what you want.
koolman
koolman
And what IS your age? If dating is pure torture, JUST focus on friendship, perhaps with members of the same sex. Once you've found some really cool dudes to hang with, THEN pursue the ladies. I've found good same-sex friends really cushion the blow when romantic love is shit. Plus, guys can burp, fart, make lewd jokes without fear of "offending" a woman.
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