it sounds like you're going through a lot right now. if you're feeling so lonely, i can understand why you haven't left that partner yet, even if you feel you haven't been treated as well as you should have. it is easier to say "just leave someone if they aren't the best for you!" than to actually go through with it. the best thing to remember is that you have more inner strength than you realize. you're going through so much right now and yet you're still pushing through it. a lot of people laugh at self care but it's one of the strongest things you can do. and if some of the people in your life can't see your worth, that's their loss.

Im sorry youre feeling this way,...The cancer scare seems like an even worse issue when no one is there to hold your hand through the uncertainty. The living situation and fuck buddy thing- I think im going through something similar. My bf of a year and half, has been " getting a divorce" for a year and half...he also has cheated on me, not with his wife, several times. We have had domestic violence issues over here, and my drywall suffered the brunt of the fights. I live in a housing project in which they inspect monthly. I got a letter stating fix the damage or get out , basically. I believed him when he said he would get my boys and me another place. Then i believed him when he said he would fix the walls..now, its " not his problem ", and him and hus wife are buying a house. I feel stupid as hell, and played too, but i cant leave him. Im broke and he helps somewhat, but I feel like no one has ever loved me before but him and I so so don't want to lose that, Even though its not honest true love, its the closest Ive ever come to it. Im not quite sure if I can stay here or if i have to go, and I too would have an issue finding an affordable place. Its like people in my life are quick to give advise- more like instructions- instead of just be there as an emotional support. I think anytime your hormones are altered it affects mood, but Im sure that even without the progesterone, youd be feeling awful- anyone would, the situation seems very, well, unknown, I guess. You mentioned you dont feel secure in the relationship..it seems like nothing is secure right now- your housing, your medical condition, your friendships..Im glad you came to this forum, no one should have to go through that alone.

oh man, big hug. I totally get where you're at. I wonder about the progesterone too, I am on cerazette to stop my monsoon type tidal wave periods (fibroids) that were filling my galoshes every month. that was orrible. As to lovers? give me cats. I have had a few, and they are truly horrible. Lovers that is. Cats are fine.

You have a terrible lot on your shoulders right now, and all I can say is deep breaths, and break it down. I really hope you find a new place to live soon, that would be doing my head in. Everything else will fall into line after that. You haven't got cancer till they tell you you have;
and even if you get cancer, they are fixing a LOT of very bad cancers nowadays and people are just going back to their lives (sometimes with a change in diet).

When you have too much on your plate like you do, try to reach out and tell the odd friend the odd problem. Some friends can't hack it, but some friends come up with places that are looking for tenants, or family gatherings involving single brothers...

Feeling unimportant I think is where you discover you're expendable. I've already kind of come to grips with that. We all have to be expendable. Humans die. Other surviving humans have to continue to survive afterwards: so we do have some kind of cut-off valve that kicks in when other people have big problems. Shocking but that's my theory. we sometimes have huge problems of our own and the best we can do is keep quiet about our own rubbish so as not to make you even more miserable.

hang on in there. I do hope it all comes right for you as soon as possible.

thank you for sharing. and for the words of encouragement. u seem to get it. thank you

I'm sorry you are going thru this I wish I was their to. Help. You I believe in my heart everything is is going to be OK please keep in touch with me and let me know how you are. A fteind for life goodnight