Recently, I've been feeling very hollow from inside. Well tbh not recently, its been going on ever since I came here but has picked up in the last year. I've always liked to be by myself however, now it is becoming more of a social anxiety. 2 years in Canada, no friends, no relationships, always inside these four walls staring at the ceiling (or watching Netflix). Believe me! I was never like this. Back home, I was very normal. I know some guys from classes but theyre not really friends. Its not like something is wrong with me, I am just like everyone else. But in these 2 years Ive really forgotten how to be interesting or how to start a conversation. Im a likable guy once you get to know me but that first part always eludes me. I cannot get over it. Ive lost interest in almost everything. I found no interesting clubs, Id rather sit at home than going to an event that I even like, I skip 5-6 classes every week and so on. I even joined a dating site last week and although I talked to some, I feel even more wrong for some reason. Its just not me. I have always undermined my own feelings. I dont know what I am doing with my life. I have no motivation, no ambition right now. Its classic killing time. I just want to be happy!
I really wanted to talk to someone but since I dont have anyone, I thought I'd sign up here and write it up. Thank you!