Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
I need help. I'm in a very dark place, and there's no way back. I'm 32 and have been alone my whole life. I have never had any friends and have never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship, never even been on a date. My childhood was filled with being being bullied, picked on and ignored. I have spent every day being alone wishing I wasn't. I have spent my entire life on the outside looking in, trying to find a place where I fit in. For so long I just wanted to belong somewhere, but there was no place. Then I tried to make a place where I belonged, but life seems bent on making sure that'll never happen. My whole life, life has kicked and beaten me down and made sure I stayed down. My life has been filled with people using me and then throwing me away like garbage. Because of this, I do not trust people, at least until a few months ago. I met someone who I felt a connection with. It was the first time I had ever had a connection with someone. But all that got me was used and thrown away, just like always. I feel so dead and empty inside now. I hate everything and everyone. I have nothing left, no fight left. I'm tired of being alone! I'm tired of all the pain, suffering, anguish and despair I feel. I'm in a perpetual unending darkness, a deep abyss, where I can't stop falling and I'll never hit the bottom, because it doesn't exist. All I have left is to die!!!! All I want to do is die!!!!!!!!!
You mentioned you tried to make a place where you belonged, can you elaborate about what happened? Is this heartbreak you're suffering, on top of isolation? You're lonely right now, but you've HAD a connection. You could have it again with someone who'll treat you right.
Two things saved my life and brought me away from the darkness: I got professional mental health treatment. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. With medications and psychological and psychiatric supervision and support, my mood swings are much less severe, which makes everything more manageable. The second thing that stopped me from going over the edge was when I was at a really low point and was feeling lonely and unloved, I went to a church and the pastor told me that no matter what, I was a child of God, and God loved me just the way I am and will meet me wherever I am, and God was reaching out a hand for me to accept the love, and all I to do was to take hold of that hand. When I heard that, it started a revolution in my soul, because if God could love me as messed up as I was, then maybe I could learn to love myself, warts and all. And it made me look at the world differently and it changed the way I related to the world and other people. When I stopped seeing myself as a victim and started to see myself as a survivor, it was empowering, and I related to people differently. If people sense that there is a cloud of desperation enveloping you, a lot of people will either run the opposite direction, or take advantage of your vulnerability, both of which will only reinforce feelings of being unloved and unlovable.
It is my experience that when I started to work on a relationship with higher power that was greater than myself, I began to see in myself what that higher power sees in me, and that I was valuable, and I had a purpose for being.
Just because I experience my spirtuality in a certain way, doesn't mean you have to do the same. But what I hope you will take away from this is you are loved, valuable, and have every right to have a seat at the table of life. And when you truly believe that, other people will believe it too.