sorry your hurting so badly over loneliness....it is going to be ok when we learn to lean on each other here....hugs bill

You can slowly build your relationships back up. Start reaching out to the ones you knew before. 23 is very young and you can always start over

Thanks you guys! I sometimes feel that I'm too old to startover, and that all hope is lost for me and I'll feel lonely forever. I mean I guess I know 23 is not old, and hopefully I can repair those relationships and put those people first

Awww, it's ok, we all feel alone, right gang? We all "do" feel alone.
I would not look at your relationship as a waist. I would take it all as a learning experience. You know, a "how to" on not putting up with people's crap.

Sending you support
(((HUGS)))

i can totally relate. i was in a long term relationship just like yours only it wasnt me that pushed them away, it was his terrible jealousy. i couldnt talk to anyone without reprisal of some kind and my friends just faded away. so i do understand. but u may be able to make amends with some and make new friends as well. and now u have learned from your bad experience to try and be yourself as well as having a relationship. hard lesson i know. in the mean time, u can cry on our shoulders anytime. we r here for u. kim

It is a great realization that you can see the faults you made and that he was toxic and not good for you and that you were able to leave! I was in the same situation but tried despite our downfall instead of walking away and ended up being cheated on and humiliated. It took me forever to recover- years of bad relationships trying to make up for what went wrong in that one and covering up my feelings of rejection and failure by being codependent. Instead, what I should have done is cry myself to sleep and deal with the loneliness for a while because crying is a release of grief- it heals. And once you get through the worst you can start to focus on putting everything back into YOURSELF. I slowly gathered my true close friends back and still to this day feel guilty for pushing them aside for my ex. Call them or go see them so that you don't feel alone, if they are true friends they will take you back. Do not go back to him because you feel alone- a toxic relationship is never going to be what you need. Read the book "it's called a break up because it's broken". It helped me. Right now I am just out of a new relationship as well and living on my own and it is extremely hard not to sink into the depression of loneliness or think about my recent ex. What helps me right now is reading, movies, working out and calling friends or family. Just keep your mind busy.

Thank you kim and anquissette! It means a lot that I have someone to talk to about this! I blew off everyone for this one person, and now I feel like my worlds just shattered. I miss the affection and someone caring for me and the interaction, not so much the person themselves. I miss the relationship. I realize I can't be with someone just for the fact that they entertain me or keep me company. I became way to dependent on him and needy. I feel like I learned what I needed to learn, and can move on from this situation.

winesar21, you are so very young! Which means that you have gobs of time left to make new friends and explore different aspects of life. Trust me on this.

anguisette, I really liked your post and can relate to a lot of it.

Breakups are hard. That is for sure. And the only way to handle grief healthfully is to go through it, never around it. That way lies trouble. Been there, got the tee-shirt.