you have a purpose in this life and what that is should be to be just what you are and not pretend to be something else....so your doing the right things....do you have a church in life? that might help some if you can handle that...some cannot...other things are the old searching for a job....what can you do? I know I have a masters degree and my last job was delivering interoffice mail between bank that a friend of mine is part owner of...for $9.50hr...sucked but it was a temp job to start and I found out I got put back on disability so I quit that job ASAP....
Jobs include other people who may be hard to get along with or just one who is in need of a friend just like you....
working out at the YMCA as a way to get out of house can be good too and they give membership scholarships to people in need....check it out if you are one who enjoys lifting a few weights....or running on the stair steppers or riding a exercise bike....many women meet men in gyms...or pools...bikini optional...LOL

Thank you, Bill. Those are some very good ideas. There is a health club near here that is cheap, so maybe I'll join that. Not big on lifting weights, but at least it would get me out of the house.

I've been putting off the job search because of my health problems and general lack of confidence, but again it would get me out of the house and at least I would be doing something proactive.

I see you are in St. Louis. I grew up there and I miss it. Tense times tonight. Stay safe.

yes things gone crazy here again tonight with the release of grand jury decision not to indict the policeman that shot Michael Brown to death....the TV has been nonstop media frenzy since 4pm and it is five to ten now....

Yes, I've been following the story, too. Sad and scary. Personally I think it was dumb for them to announce this decision at night, since riots are more likely (or likely to be worse) at night. But what do I know.

Take care and stay safe.

You feel like you have the plague and I feel like a pariah. My family has passed on and my children have their own lives. I keep saying I have to find my own crew. That isn't easy these days, with everyone dealing with trust issues. The holidays are hard to face alone but the alternative is hanging out with the in-laws who stare at me like I have three heads. I'm not desperate enough yet to want to deal with that. I'm beginning to think being nice and respectful is the wrong approach. Maybe picking a fight is the way to go. Haven't tried it yet, I'll let you know how it goes if I do. Maybe lonely hearts clubs are the answer. Open chapters all around the world.

I think they call that Match.com and Christian Mingle dot com...LOL Lonelyhearts clubs....LOL Plenty of Fish too...and OkCupid...all dating online is well odd...

Eva,

Would it help your loneliness if you weren't alone so much?
Do you have any trusted friends? Someone to give you some objective advice? Seek them out-- polish up that resume sell the positive. YES you are full of positives-- so let the world know about them-&- use them to your advantage. I can empathize with loneliness and isolation, you mustn't do the easy- mustn't wallow, self- segregate, drop out. Get back in the main stream. Fight for what you want, fight for your happiness----how? Firstly by getting some resources in your favor:
Job for $ & sense of belonging. , pursue your hobbies / interests for joy, those 3 things will force situations in which you have a common goal with those around you.

Please just take a moment to see the good in yourself. Do it now.

are you smiling? I hope there is a smile in your heart.

Sara and Bill,

Honestly I am not even looking for a romance right now. I'm not sure it's a good idea when I am still feeling so vulnerable and fragile. Maybe later when I feel strong enough.

Right now I just want a friend. Someone to talk to or go to the movies with. I wish there was someplace like Match.com for friendships,

Guysmylie,

I just lost the only friends I had. Long story, but I had two women friends and they both just turned against me. And honestly, I don't know what I did to supposedly deserve that. I disagreed with one of the women about something, but I tried to express that nicely and with respect. I always try to be respectful. These two women disagree with each other all the time, and it's nothing. But if I disagree, I'm committing a crime.

But I was always the odd one out, because they are both married, rich, successful, etc, and I am single and poor. I never really fit in with them, and I realize now they were never really my friends. They always treated me a little bit like a second-class citizen. I put up with it for a long time because I was so lonely.

Now I have no one and I have to start all over from scratch and hope that maybe I can find some new friends eventually. So I'm just very, very sad.

But you're right -- I have to fight for what I want. I'm just feeling beaten down right now, but hopefully my strength will come back before too long.

Thanks to all for the replies.

Hi . :)

YWCA in my townn is recreation oriented, and has 'scholarships' for ppl who reqally want to use the facilities but can't well afford a reg'lar membership.

U r wise re romance. Now OTOH.. on the Plenty of Fish site an 'Activities' option exists. (Mostly it is used by old ppl.) It's found in the set of options, "What R U Looking for." It's in that list of things like marriage, dating, long-term, and whatever. It's for ppl wanting someone to go to a show with them or not wanting always to eat alone. . . . . . Tho don't say "no" unqualifiedly, if a single person -- opposite gender -- your own age comes along. It helps one's self-esteem just to go out a few times and prove U still have those social skills.

I like your logo, it is _great!_ . :)
C.

you could try finding a meetup.com group to join that has common interests with you and what you like to do....movies or meals on a dime come to mind....meetup is not a dating site but does have singles groups too...I am in it way deep now as an organizer of singles group with currently over 400 members but I just initiated a dues to the goup and so far just two dozen members have paid their $3 yr fee so many will be dropped automatically in 30 days from when I started the dues structure....Dec. 15 we will prob see our group of 400 go to under 100....

hi-wave wave
have you any crafts/hobbies? Getting involved with those you will meet others with the same interest .What about volunteer work ?

Sorry Eva I didn't mean to give the impression that you need romance. I couldn't even begin to get into something like that right now either. Lonely hearts are just lonely hearts, not lonely hearts looking to hook up. Maybe lonely hearts not lookin' for love clubs would be a better description.

Calebb,

Thank you for the kind words and the suggestion about the Plenty of Fish site. It sounds very promising and I'll check it out.

Bill,

Thank you for another good suggestion. I'll check that out, too. I'm impressed that you're running a singles group and hope your membership doesn't drop too much. Three dollars is nothing, really.

Looks like the violence in StL is calming down today, thank goodness.

Annette,

*waving back* Yes I have some hobbies but so far haven't had much luck finding groups (or affordable ways) to share my hobbies with others. But I'll keep looking. I have often thought about volunteer work, but I need money so badly that I feel like I should focus more on getting a job.

Sara,

No need to apologize. I think most lonely people are looking for romance, so it's a natural assumption.

Thanks again to all of you for being so kind and helpful :)

Sounds to me like you have been in the company of a lot of predators. People who take and take and don't give. The people in this world who are easiest to make "friends" with are usually not that at all.

Get this in your head. If anyone in this world deserves anything, you deserve respect. Those who won't give it to you are a waste of your time. Pay them no mind; you are in better company alone.

The more you realize your own worth, the better your chances of finding people who recognize the worth in others, an in you. The more you realize your own worth and all that is beautiful in you, the less you will need others to verify it.

itsallajoke,

You are absolutely right. I grew up in a family where I was bullied quite a lot. Certain people were putting me down and in general giving me the constant message that I didn't matter at all. That's a hard message to overcome, and unfortunately therapy is not an option for me right now. But I think you are right that I keep attracting the same types of people into my life, and until I get therapy it's hard to break that pattern.

And thank you for saying that I deserve respect. I have my faults and I make mistakes, but I try to be kind and respectful with my friends and I would NEVER talk to any of them the way that both of these women have talked to me recently.

I recently found a quote by George Washington that echoes what you said, "It is better to be alone than in bad company."

Thank you again for your kind reply.