probably the reason you can't stand yourself is because of the way others treat you and you backed out of that snow shoeing class..so find another class and get there early so you don't have that excuse to use0that you're running late :)

I have to try another, no excuses. I need to start trying and caring about me

It's not easy at all, to join a group of strangers. Often, people scheduled, back out. It's definitely anxiety-causing.

Sure hope you and your son can come to an agreement. It would help both of you.

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well hope things start to ease up some for the anxiety

Don't spend too much time kicking yourself. Just follow through the next time. Don't "try", make up your mind and "do". I understand it is difficult as I have the same issue.

Sorry for your solitude -- which I assume has you feeling no one cares about you? . . (((((( Ann ))))))

Is snow shoeing as significant as you were thinking when you signed up? In th' times when I was having almost-panics**, I wasn't good on following through unless it was obviously a necessity. Like getting the house ready for winter. --And a constant remindment to me.

Some interests have importance almost constantly in life, and likely would involve the kind of ppl one would enjoy meeting. Music lessons come to mind (music is important for me). Yes I know it is not exactly a necessity nor constantly reminding...; but the only other thing I can think of is auto repair and some of those ppl are macho. No thanks.

Am saying several criteria would.... Um pet care seems a likely subject. For myself anyway it could get me going/towards being a volunteer w pets somewhere. In that interest I would be motivated from the very first.

I don't know what would work for you, I've tried offering ideas.

Here's to meeting a good person*** soon. Or a couple of those. :) . Caleb
[footnotes] ** gone into the past I hope
*** Someone who has time available
4 someone who shares things in common

thanks everyone, it is so kind of all. I need that hug caleb, thanks. I want to snow shoe and ll bean has outings where they supply everything for a minimal fee, I wouldn't go often but really want to do it. it is that way with many things, I just don't go and do it even when interested. the only thing I consistently do is my walks or go to the gym and these are solitary activities. today I am going to get out and walk, it will a somewhat better temperature I need the fresh air. I do love animals and did volunteer at the shelter once but it was outside work, not with the animals themselves. maybe if I could do something with the animals I would be more interested. I start back to work on Monday so my days will be more structured and I will be around people again, I am hoping that will help.

those animals will love to have you around whenever you can get there!

And you can be the quiet/shy snow shoe student till you get your feet or snow shoes under you and then you will be looking forward to those classes-the first two classes of any type are the worse

The way your mind works is not uncommon... Don't put to much pressure on yourself, try to find something that is very stress free to commit too... Also make very tiny goals that u know u can achieve and just take one tiny part at a time... To me these things are all about making a positive corilation to your goals let yourself be happy for succeeding but don't stress it if u dont, all positives, no negatives.. How can u lose..

thanks.... I have kicked myself so much during my recovery time, I start back on Monday and all that time was wasted to do a little bit of help. I know for a long time I was unable to but this past month I could of. I have to stop thinking so negatively about myself, I have done this forever. I agree that I just have to go and try, it is something I want to do and that very tiny goals are also a way for me to succeed, hopefully. I so appreciate everyones advice and support.