Oh, God! When I think about those questions I think about Roulette. Considering the chances that two people who would be right for each other actually meeting each other, I wonder how anyone ever gets together. It seems impossible to me. Of course it probably has something to do with the fact that people tend to be predictable in order to fulfill the expectations of others. I think the reason why most people are in a relationship is because they are awfully uninteresting. Those of us who are complicated and uncompromising are the ones who are left single because we meet nobody's expectations and couldn't if we even cared to. The problem is that there are so few of us, and we ourselves are so different from each other that it we rarely meet and even if we do we fail to work out. Everyone says, "Oh, you'll meet someone someday." I think you and I both know that this is total BS. You MAY meet someone someday with whom things will work out, but you've got to make it happen. Just like that Rush song, "Something for Nothing". You've got to make your own destiny and even this is a dependent on a combination of ability and luck when it comes to relationships.

Enough of my tirade! I don't think I like where it's headed.

By the way, to someone who does not understand it may seem like I'm biting your head off. I'm not. I'm simply commenting on a reality that you seem to have observed in the same way I have if I am reading between the lines correctly. I AM agreeing with your sentiment.

No offence thmooreshow> but i guess what you say is not at all reality.I know its not possible for us to make sm1 like us but its the case with each and everyone on this planet.
You say that there are so few of us,i don't feel its true.Everyone has their own problems the only difference is that some are really sensitive and can be hurt easily but its not a flaw its just a shortcoming that can definitly be rectified over a period of time.I know you had some xperiences in your life that made you think that no one is gonna like us or things would never work out but thats not the case.Nothing is permanent and you'll definitly find sm1 who would really care for you.I can guarantee you that.
TAKE CARE.

The total reality as i see it is that some people never find a loving mate. It may be that they are too head strong, maybe they see compromise as weakness. I don't know what each person, who remains single, goes through or what has brought them to the point they are at. I personally have trouble in relationships. I'm very outspoken and though I try to not hurt peoples feelings... I think my filter may be clogged. I know in the past I have not shown appreciation often enough to the men who have loved me, or tried to. I'm a gemini , like the description was written about me LOL. I have been married 3 times. It takes two people working together to make it work & when one stops then the marriage falls apart. It takes an amazing amount of loyalty to "the one" your with to make it work. Making time for yourself is important but it seems that many men get offended when the woman in their life wants to have social time with g-friends, go to craft groups, book clubs or anything without them. The men in my life have been suspicious and I guess untrusting souls. I can only have one male/female loving, intimate relationship at once but they seem to think I'm capable of more. Thus the suspicion. So I can't say that "everyone" will find "someone" . I think that's a fantasy created by some so that their hopes can keep them going.
Being without a loving other that your in partnership with is not horrible but it may on occasion leave a empty feeling inside you. But there is something to be said for not being questioned each time you come home, going where ever you wish and spending time with whom ever you wish without getting the 3rd degree.

I really agree with what you say about "someone for everyone" being something to keep hope alive. I truly believe that nothing in this world "just happens" automatically. It takes a great deal of tenacity to create any change in ones life and when another person is involved, it also demands that you don't ham it up.

In response to the last part of your post about being alone not being all that bad, I tried that. Really for the last 4-5 years with only a few brief intermissions where I would try to get out there again. I really tried to be content with isolation because there has been no indication (if you think I'm exaggerating to be dramatic, I'm not; I mean ZERO indication) that this will ever change.

The fact is, I'm really losing my footing that way. Without someone to relate to and keep me grounded, I'm losing more and more of my grip on reality. And so now I'm putting my money down on the Roulette table because I have little choice in the matter.

Am I being negative? LOL

I think of those people as lucky that they have found someone else. It's I guess lucky and chemistry. Some times people are alone because they haven't found that special someone yet, maybe never, but people need to connect with others so give it time.

I see that and I think is it sweet. For me, It doesn't matter how people meet, or why...I don't think we need to know all of lifes questions. I believe if you personally connect with someone on many levels, the attraction will just come around. But to know why it happens, it isn't really one of my burning questions. Let life happen as it was meant to.

I can relate to you in some ways themooreshow. Although it seems to me that the trouble I have when finding someone is a place to find someone. I live in a place where at my age, 19, there is NOTHING to do. The only person I had a relationship with was from work, not that it was a bad thing, good as place as any, but what I'm saying is my outreach is very limited. I wish I could go anywhere to hang out for an hour or two but nothing is open to me. My friends don't have money so I'm stuck at home doing the same BS with them every night. Yeah it's possible I can meet someone, but where? Where can I go to get out?

I have wondered about this, and unfortunately I don't think there's ever going to be an easy answer to it.

With meeting someone sometimes it's fate, sometimes it's chance.

As for how it KEEPS working with some people and not others, why that person's hand in yours just feels so right..... that one I can't even begin to explain! lol

I've been in relationships that have lasted years but it's never had that.... spark...that makes it complete. And I've been in a relationship where everything felt right, and true, but it didn't last.

So, if anyone DOES figure out the answer to that one, let me know....lol

It seems to me like the first thing you need to do is learn how to live your life the way you want to. You have to figure out what you like doing and find ways to do those things. Then at least you're well positioned. You're more likely to meet someone who likes doing similar things if you're in a place where they're being done. Also, you'll be happier and more grounded, making you more open to the magic if it shows up. Boy, I wish I was there!

Karan moreshow was talking specifically about his type of experience. I relate to him because I think we are similar in some ways. People with strong convictions / morals / beliefs. I don't think he's talking of a special or better breed of person just perhaps the more introverted, intellegent / passionate / sensitive type of person. Not so easy going, no so comfortable to just accept the way things are.

It IS much harder for people like that, I feel I'm one and I get into all sorts of rather negative situations. People think because I'm intellegent I talk down to people, I use long or complex words to show my intellect or think my opinions are fact. I know this is an extreme comparison but there is a big intellect divide in people, as there have been through history. Slavery wasn't that far in the past, and Black people are generally still sensitive to the possibility of people discriminating against them, even when the reality is often they 'didn't get the job' or were spoken to rudely, for the same reason as any other person, that some people are just unreasonable or due to circumstance.

People of the same 'kind' will always stick together because sometimes no matter how tollerant each party is the other will always seem to suspect something and that will cause frustration in the other.

Ranting here.. but what seems to be the case is people think an intellegent / inciteful person WANTS to put themselves above others, WANTS only to give their time to those of 'equal' mind. It's not the case, it's simply that doing anything other then that is often false or unenjoyable. I'm friends with quite a few simple people from my old workplace - you know the kind, lives with mum, never had a girlfriend, but they are some of the nicest you could know, and they don't accuse me of thinking I'm better then them, or too complicated for them. The moment those things start coming out, it just doesn't work.

So yeh, I'm agreeing completely with the sentiment that 'there's someone for everyone' is a load of crap. It's a shallow world, and it really is down to as more said, personal tenacity, persevereing or trying to maintain a love and respect for yourself. I find people find me intimidating, that means I have to 'look'. Throughout my life girls have never ever approached me, and if I talk about myself as these things, intellegent, insightful, people only think you arrogant, or self involved...perhaps even pretentious.

I do wonder how the hell two people get together, I have my rather dark suspicions that most relationships form from convenience, desperation, loneliness, or sheer shallow attraction. Of course many relationships become 'true' more then many people probably learn to love each other in time. When we're getting towards our late thirties we might start regretting being so 'intollerant' but some of us find it hard to change. Being 'insighful' has its pros and cons. Especially with depression the few is dark. George Carlin once said if America told the truth for a day the country would shut down. It's the same for people. The real truth of many peoples actions is an ugly one, but humans are an ugly race. The good is there, and the beauty, but I find it few and far between, and hard to spot.

excuse grammar, it's late :P

powerout, love what you wrote, you make so much sense and im not agreeing for the sake of it. good points made and had to say great on you for writing it.

Yes, shame I don't have an answer for us, other then... try hard not to seem like you are putting yourself above others in anyway. Self love is definately the foundation for moving forward in any area of life. My loneliness getting the better of me recently has completely hindered my recovery.

Yeah I wish I had that self love for myself, im working on it but its hard when all you do is go over and over everything in your mind and question everything about yourself, yeah sometimes you just dont know, you have to just sometimes go through the motions in life and hope one day maybe you will get that little bit of luck you have always needed. of course people say you make your own luck, im not really sure about that. ture in one sense but as a sports fan its just one of those cliches people seem to come out with.