Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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JennyMay 02/07/2009

I hate living here. I have no close friends and no family anywhere nearby. The nearest town is 110kms away, so I can't even venture out to the shopping mall or go for a drive to relieve my stress. I live with my bf of 2 years but I don't have any girlfriends my own age to get along with. All the women in this town have children, and I'm not too keen on having any of my own just yet.

But I know that if I move back home I'm going to be just as lonely because all my friends have moved on, gotten married or engaged, moved out of state with their partners. And even though I know this I still think about home CONSTANTLY. Is it possible to be lonely for a location rather than people? Lol. My brain is starting to hurt because it's ALL I think about, fantasize about. My bf NEVER wants to live in my home town, and it tears me up inside to think that I'll never get to live around my family again. My grandma passed away last year and it kills me that I didn't get to spend more time with her before she passed.

Anyway, I just wondered I guess whether there were other 'loneliness sufferers' out there going through something similar? I also just needed to vent I guess

JennyMay 02/07/2009

How ironic... I'm feeling even more lonely now that no-one has replied

deleted_user 02/07/2009

loneliness comes in all forms...I suppose it is just about the ppl you love withwhom you seem to have a connection to..I sincerely hope that you do not lose the connection with family I think you miss them and you want to find a way to feel connected even though your bf does not want to live where you were originally from..I think it is that which is causing you pain more than anything you do not miss the location ,rather it is more the bf who does not want to be there and it is conflicting you..I assume you do adore your bf?

awakendwoman 02/07/2009

I am sure we all have felt like that at one point...you really do need to get out and see other people.Try joing some charities, or volunteer somewhere. The key is to not stop trying to make friends... It doesn't matter if people are married , single, kids or no kids....friends come in all forms.Keep your connections with those you have inb your life....you never know when life will change for ya!!!

JennyMay 02/07/2009

I used to adore him... as time goes on I'm starting to resent him a little for not wanting to move back to my home town. I moved to this one horse town for him, and I almost hate him for not being able to suck it up and do the same for me. I'm very conflicted towards him atm.

I would quite happily volunteer somewhere, but there is nowhere nearby TO volunteer. Remember, I live 110kms from the nearest ANYTHING. Once we/I move away I'll be able to get out more, but until that happens I'm stuck in a major rut

deleted_user 02/08/2009

you want to be with bf but at the sametime you are feeling that you are stuck in a rut for him I am sorry for you but this is not the way for you...why wont bf go to where you used to live?if you moved to his place then he should give you some answers...otherwise and I am sorry to say this he is not for you...you have sacrificed a fair bit in this...loneliness is a sad situation but being stuck is worse...pls try and talk with him

JennyMay 02/08/2009

I want to talk to him... absolutely. But we have so many debts right now it'll just be so much harder if we have "the talk" now and end up breaking up... there'll be too much shit to sift through. I have to wait until we pay everything off, and that'll be god knows how many months, what with a $8000 car loan to pay off :(

deleted_user 02/08/2009

are you willing to wait until then is a question you should be asking....are you helpling him with this loan? is that why you are stuck?

JennyMay 02/08/2009

The loan was for a car for me. When I moved here I had a blood clot in my leg, and needed to visit the doctors every week to have blood tests. We had discussed getting a loan for a car before I moved, and since I don't have a credit rating we knew my bf would have to go for the loan. So we got a $17,000 loan and have been paying it off for over a year now. We've only got $8000 to go, and I'm not going to leave him in a mound of debt, no matter how unhappy I am here.

As for the car, he doesn't even drive. So really he very selflessly put himself into debt for me and I just cannot leave him with it.

deleted_user 02/08/2009

I'm familiar with the feeling of being trapped and not able to do something you really want...Sorry to hear about your grandma, too.
Would it be possible to make some kind of a compromise and try to live one (or few) month with your bf and one month at home? If you aren't employed, that might work. Another suggestion: maybe you could at least convince him to move to a bigger town in the same state where your home town is.
It's very nice of him to buy you a car, but if he really is selfless he should be able to understand why you're having such a hard time (I agree with sgixr, if he can't understand how you feel and respect your wish, he might not be the right person for you).

http://s3.amazonaws.com/best_bucket/hang_in_there_kitty.jpg

deleted_user 02/08/2009

it is very admirable that he got the loan 4 u and that he selflessly did this for you so you can get around.I know that you are very honorable and you do not want to leave him with this debt but if you could take over this debt would that change things for you?Would that make him realise you do not want to be in this town?I really hope you can find a happy and peaceful way for both of you.I am not suggesting you threaten him by you leaving but you need to nut out some things.hope you both can find some happiness.

awakendwoman 02/08/2009

hun, just talk to him about everything your feeling. You need to figure these things out so you can move on with your life...It won't be easy, but you do need to get unstuck...That first step is the hardest.

deleted_user 02/09/2009

Hi Jenny. I'm curious why are you and your boyfriend living out in the middle of nowhere? Is he a farmer?

We all have to deal with our current circumstances. If you are having troubles with your boyfriend it wouldn't matter if you lived in the middle of a big metropolis, you'd still have to deal with relationship troubles.

Other than the relationship there are still things you can do to combat the loneliness in general. If you live far from things you may just need to suck it up and get used to the commute! Budget for gas and pursue your interests in nearby towns and cities. If you are in a rural area you could also take up hiking and other outdoors activities that may be nearby.

Do you have a job? Even a part-time job at a local store may help you feel less lonely and give you a sense of purpose.

Good luck!

JennyMay 02/09/2009

I have two job actually... applied for a third last week and waiting to hear back about my hours. Unfortunatly my first job is only an hour in the morning, and my second I'm only the relief person (i.e. if someone is sick or if they get busy).

It's a long story, but the town I'm living in supplies people working for the Snowy Hydro Scheme (just google it, I'm not explaining it :P) with food and accomodation. You can only live here if you work here, and it's cheap living with only $50 a week rent. That's the main reason we're still here, to save money. Though recent bills aren't making us very successful in that endevour. My partner works in the general store within town, and that's where I relief work.

It's a good idea about budgeting the petrol, it won't be easy in the least but maybe I'll look at social groups at the nearest town.

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