I get that way too. A lot. Especially weekends or when I'm not at work. I think I have to make myself reach out to people that I want to spend time with is one thing, but another is just to find out why I'm so unhappy being by myself sometimes.
I think when I'm depressed, it doesn't matter if I'm in a party or alone, I will feel the crappy anyway.

Right now, I'm still learning to live my life in spite of all the anxiety and depressed thoughts that come in my head.

Hi, I go from one extreme to the other too. Sometimes I like being out and about talking to people but then I have to come back to the 2 looney housemates which is horrendous for me. My 2 dogs suffer sometimes, but I'm pretty good at taking them for their walk.

Its too bad that being out and about didn't help. I envy you being able to ride a bicycle. I have bad knees and avoid stairs and bikes, but love riding a bike.

I agree with you about not giving people too much info - even strangers. I feel bad for famous people who, just because they want to act or sing for a living, have the entire world glaring at every tiny detail some one can gather - using cameras that can get close-ups from a half mile (maybe more) away.

If you can't enjoy things that you once enjoyed, you might need something for your depression.

from Livestrong.com:

Tonic for Nervous System
If your nerves are getting the best of you or if you can't seem to snap out of a depressive episode, lemon verbena may be the herb for you. Margaret Roberts, author of "Herbal Teas for Healthy Living," says that lemon verbena promotes overall nervous system health and in tea form combats both depression and the ill effects of stress. To take advantage of these properties, pour 1 cup boiling water over 10 dried lemon verbena leaves, allow to steep for five minutes, strain and drink when the brew has cooled

I haven't tried this, but it's completely safe and it's something I would try. Sure hope you'll research and find something that helps you enjoy things. There's nothing like the outdoors, epsecially in the Spring.

I've started talking to random strangers. Sometimes just to compliment their attire.

Being out makes me feel better because I'm not moping at home. Just that simple contact with the person at the register when shopping or giving the person looking as sad as I have inside a compliment makes my day.

Just to make one person feel worthwhile or to listen to someone who is lonely or just glad to tell a tale makes my day meaningful. They may not remember me the next day, or the next week but for a brief moment I noticed they existed.

You could say I give what I want in return.

Oh and if you ever want to talk about your non existent sex life I'm all ears. I just won't have any solutions :)

Penntucky,

I think it's a good idea for you to spend time both inside your apartment and outdoors. Find the balance that works best for you in terms of how much time you spend in each place. There are benefits in both.

I know it is lonely spending too much time at home, and I know it is lonely when you go out and find only strangers. I would like to ask you a couple of questions. Do you have a driver's license or can you use public transportation to go outside your immediate area once in a while? How about on your bike? Do you live in an area where the surroundings contribute to the feeling of loneliness? For example, I live in the downtown area of a city (San Diego, California), and it can be very lonely because cities tend to be that way, with every person out for themselves only. Everybody's in either a rush or dawdling on the sidewalks and getting in everybody else's way (malls can be like this, too). Ultimately, this is not a healthy environment for a human being to be in all the time, and I've got to get out of this place for my own well-being. Or maybe you're in an area that is so spread out that it takes a while to get from one place to another, which can also be a problem. Remember, it's not your fault if you cannot easily connect with strangers; sometimes it is just the environment that makes it difficult.

There are likely to be possibilities for you that you may not be thinking about in your current state of mind. Are there community centers, or park and recreation centers where you could go? How about churches; even if you're not particularly religious, you could still go to be around people, and the good thing about churches is that people tend to be (though not always) on their best behavior. Many churches have Bible classes or singles meetings in the middle of the week, so they are not just a Sunday kind of place. You may find that people in these places move and speak at a slower pace, but don't mistake their slower pace for inaction and get bored; just slow yourself down as well and move with the flow. Somewhere in your community there should be a place where you can go. If you want to, try writing a list of possibilities on paper or on your computer, but don't let your list be an end in itself - you'll want to actually go to the places on your list.

I find that no one ever reaches out to me in friendship where I live, so I always have to be the one to take the initial risk and say hello, how are you, how has your day been, and so on. This gives me the advantage of being able to avoid people who are obviously not going to make good acquaintances with me, but still, it's a lonely life, because another aspect of city life is that people tend to be transient, that is, move in and then move away in a shorter period of time than people outside of cities. I wish that just once in a while, someone else would take the initiative with me and say hi first.

This all brings to mind the song, "I've Got To Get Out Of This Place" by the Animals music group, but I digress . . .

I encourage you to keep trying no matter what the results. Be patient and persistent and you'll find some of what you seek in a reasonable amount of time. You'll succeed because you have within you all of the strengths that have enable humankind to survive for countless years and generations.

city loneliness vs rural loneliness:

are enough inbred clans in my hometown to rival anything in 3rd world afghanistan.

enough of the new yorkers and philadelphians that have moved into this area are nicer than the 100 years of hillbillies.

too poor for a car....and too many vandals...thankfully, some mass transportation; took a trailways 18 miles away yesterday, with the trailways pick-up 18 miles away a street corner to flag them down...! 4 real.

i liked "we gotta get out of this place" enough to request it on a radio station.....though it turned out my sociopath gf didn't listen to it at her job cause she was cheating on me....another 4 real funny.

Being cooped up inside is not good for anyone! Go out to places like the Mall or a park where you will be with people but do not have to make friends unless you want to. Be a people watcher!

Good luck!

thank you, kittyKai.

yesterday, 18 miles away, was different....at least there wasn't the alienated connection of my hometown, and being a stranger, i wound up asking a # people for directions/help.

Hi Penn
Sometimes I feel better in my own home because I get agoraphobia and the noise outside tends to scare me sometimes. I like to be outside if the weather is nice, otherwise it makes my pain hurt so much more and in turn causes my depression to get worse. Do you have a bicycle? I would love to get one and start riding. You aren't the only one with a non existent sex life so don't feel alone with that either.
Some days I just want to be at home by myself so no-one can hurt me, and other times I like to be out and gab away. I do that sometimes, like today. Must have been that Machiatto? Not sure of spelling. Must have had a lot of caffeine in it!! Message me anytime if you are feeling really down and need someone to talk to. Hugs GB

you are a breathe of fresh air Penntucky, writing and reading I feel connected to your pain and suffering in this loneliness group. am in today and later will go out to view a flat , then will rush back home because the weather is cold & rainy. I will rush back home with milk & the paper to watch the rugby. I could have gone to a soup lunch at the church but haven't the confidence to face people. I haven't the energy to put on a smile when all I want is 'death'. so even when I have the opportunity to be with peeps in a nice church community, I do not because I am not well enough. I have a mental health diagnosis now and my feet very painful with plantar fasciitis standing is painful. I am glad to have read this post and the replies , I don't think there are any answers and advice, I don't want to be judged I want to be accepted for my needs that never are met. sorry if this has offended anyone I am not well and apologies for my negativity.

I do that sometimes, although I never "go out" because of my social anxiety. I do once in a blue moon compliment someone but that's it. Like for example I saw a young chic the other day with a mowhawk and tattoo's all over, all I said was that's bad ass, she said thanks and moved on. When it's nice out, I walk 2-3 miles, but only at night, as I fear the daytime walking because of my schizophrenia paranoia. I figure hey, if it's dark outside nobody will see me! I'm cooped up at home damn near 24/7, just like you, non-existant sex life (2 years and counting). Being cooped up sucks, but..I have social anxiety..so I can go out in a crowd of people, so it's a double edged sword for me. I usually game alot, but ever since I joined this site I've been on here mostly and haven't done anything else, which probably isn't any good either. I used to ask stuff, but lately I just go with the flow and see what others have to say in different threads. I'm as lonely as they get.

thank you, gramybear, and michelle2010.

for MetalFan81,

the good thing about summer, for me: daylight around 5 in morning, for me to get out with few worries....and bicycling, so i can zoom around like i cant when walking.

I understand what you are trying to say. When I get depressed, most of the time I tell myself that I need to get out of the house. This usually works. Sometimes it is just being around other people that makes you feel better

I hate going out because I don't like being around people. It makes work really tough. I envy people who don't have to work.