Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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Being Different Can Be Lonely

Beaumont
Beaumont
I've been evicted from every apartment and room I've rented here in San Diego, California. I blamed myself until just recently when I came to the realization that all of my landlords were very bad people. It wasn't me who was the bad person; it was them. Illegal drugs are very pervasive here, and several of my past landlords were users. They probably evicted me because I am a law-abiding conservative American who does not use drugs. One of them in his drug-induced paranoia even accused me of being a cop. As I think back on some of my other landlords, I realize that they had personality disorders or were clearly mentally disturbed or were involved in criminal activities or provided a place for criminals to stay.

It's the same with jobs; I've either been forced to quit or fired from every job I've ever held. I blamed myself, even though I showed up on time, worked hard, earned praise from customers and clients, and tried to be the best employee I possibly could. I earned bonuses and was awarded employee of the month more than once. What happened as a result of that? My co-workers hated me, and did everything they could to get me to quit or to get me fired.

Even at this very moment, I am surrounded by neighbors who use illegal drugs, deal illegal drugs, commit other crimes, drink heavily, and are constantly fighting.

I once heard someone say that if you live in California, and you are a conservative, law-abiding, tax-paying citizen, you must never under any circumstances let anyone know, or you will lose your job, lose your friends, and lose everything you ever worked for in life. I am coming to learn this is true. I don't ever tell anyone any of those things about myself, but they can figure it out even though I tell no one, I'm sure.

Is anyone else here lonely and socially isolated because they are basically a good person but living in an area where being bad is considered the thing to be?
deleted_user
deleted_user
No, but I can relate to being different and not being able to tell anyone which in fact isolates me more. I have bipolar disorder as well as anxiety and am a basically good person who goes out of her way to help others. I don't do illegal drugs and am not an alcoholic, but yet if I was that would be more acceptable in today's society than having a mental illness. It is not something I am ashamed of, I just don't tell typical people bc then they automatically think you are crazy and not ok to be around. Anyways, even though our circumstances are different I do understand being different and not being able to talk about it freely. Hope your situation gets better, is there any chance you could move to a safer area?
billwfriend
billwfriend
beaumont you need to seek other places to live...and better pay to get there....it sucks to live in abhorant poverty as I am hearing you in up to neck...because normal people do not deal drug do drugs and fight publicly....they do that in the ghetto....bad areas....and money moves one from that to better places....
KittyKai
KittyKai
I presume that you live where you do because of low rent? Do you have a church that you can go to for help? Church members are usually very tolerant towards people like you who cannot seem to fit in. I don't understand why you would be fired if you were doing a good job? Try getting a UNION JOB, like a janitor in a school where you cannot get fired without a good reason. A State job is good and usually Union. Are you coming on too strong? Some things we have to keep to ourselves! Keep on writing, we are here to listen and try to help! Have you been to the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation? You can find it in the phone book or online for your area. They help people who have various disabilities get jobs and a decent place to live. Good luck! KK
deleted_user
deleted_user
i cant exactly relate to the conservative or the drug using neighbors and landlords part. But i know what its like not to fit in cuz youre different. Its like were being punished for being underpoisoned and educated. And i was unlawfully fired twice before. So i know what thats like. When youre moving up some people wanna tare you down.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi,

Education, education, education. Education is your ticket out of poverty. Learn a trade or get some kind of qualification so you are not stuck having to take crap jobs and live in poverty.

Check your States' Landlord and Tenant Act. I have had landlords try to evict me but I knew the law better and the resident landlord ended up getting evicted instead of me. Once again, the value of education cannot be understated.
deleted_user
deleted_user
"The court-administered eviction process assures the tenant of the right to a court hearing if the tenant believes that the landlord has no right to evict the tenant. The landlord must use this court process to evict the tenant; the landlord cannot use self-help measures to force the tenant to move. For example, the landlord cannot physically remove or lock out the tenant, cut off utilities such as water or electricity, remove outside windows or doors, or seize (take) the tenant's belongings in order to carry out the eviction. The landlord must use the court procedures.

If the landlord uses unlawful methods to evict a tenant, the landlord may be subject to liability for the tenant's damages, as well as penalties of up to $100 per day for the time that the landlord used the unlawful methods."
http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/landlordbook/evictions.shtml

As I suspected, a tenant in California has even more rights and is better protected than a tenant does where I live (Alberta). You don't need a lawyer, all you need to do is to familarise yourself with the law.

Never rent a "room", you have practically no rights then. But as an apartment dweller - oh yes indeed!
shesasadtomato
shesasadtomato
while education may be the key out of poverty, it's next to impossible to attain when you are poor. unlike most other countries, the US doesn't offer free or affordable educaion. you can get student loans ifyou don't already have a degree, but they don't cover all expenses and you have to pay them back with interest. you can qualify fo scholarships, but that usually requires being fresh out of high school with excellent grades, a lot of involvement in extra-curricular activiies, and letters recomending you for scholarships. you can get PELL grants if you're poor enough...but what thy consider poor enough is ridiculous...and PELL grants don't cover all your expenses, either. it's really a catch-22 situation here. you need a good education to get a good job and not live in poverty, but you need to not live in poverty and have a good job to pay for that education. how are people supposed to do it? i was lucky enough to go to university right out of high school and get a BA, but it's really not opened that many doors for me and i still struggle financially and can't afford to go back to school for my master's degree like i've been wanting to do. just saying...it's not that easy to just "go out and get a good education". i would suggest, though, looking for a roomie and moving somewhere else. why do you need to be in california? there are a lot of other states where the cost of living is muc cheaper, and it doesn't sound like the job market in CA is being that kind to you. maybe it's just time for a move.
penntucky
penntucky
i get along GREAT with my landlord---it's the prior tenants, who are barflys, who hate me, for that reason.

my landlord is so nice, no doubt cause he moved to this hillbilly redneck area from philadelphia; ex-philadelphians are friendlier than the 2nd and 3rd generation deliverance crowd here.


hollywood is rabidly left wing, and blacklists anyone who isnt. Hanoi Jane made her come-back cause of Iraq war.

Check out craigslist rants and raves----everybody all over the usa has something bad to say about where they live. Like the character in the 1960s movie, "two women" said: : "you cant escape from yourself."

I'm not at all ashamed to say that, besides my cats, what keeps nerd-boy-me going, is that i want to outlive some of the lowlifes around me---and thankfully, a couple of the lowlife trouble makers who did live next door have kicked the bucket, and just this month the ex-dictator of my hometown drop-in also went adios.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This sounds very familiar. I live in Ohio and have struggled with pretty much all the issues you mentioned above. Poverty, landlords under the influence, hard work ethic being taken advantage of. Strange.

I choose to not look at myself as a victim which helps me feel better. Each time I get knocked back I analyze the situation, analyze what I did wrong in the situation if anything and try to learn what I can about myself and life in general.

It's easy to lose hope sometimes but from what you describe you just weren't happy in any of these living situations or careers. The shape the economy is in makes it all worse on top of this.

Don't lose hope and let yourself feel like a victim. I know this sounds strange but there is a good job and place to live out there for you somewhere. It may be hell trying to obtain these goals but you have the rest of your life to learn, make yourself better and move forward.

Sometimes you can't get any lower and up is the only direction.

Best of luck!
koolman
koolman
Beaumont: Are you employed? If so, what do you do for a living?

I'm trying to think of something else along the same qualifications that might pay a lot more.
orion888
orion888
Beaumont,
Maybe you should consider Arizona. It is a very conservative place and is much like you describe yourself to be. People here tend to keep to themselves, but the sheriff here is well known for being tough. Drugs and alcohol are not well tolerated, and if you are toward the liberal side, it is a little different to fit in. It might be a 180 of your situation. South Phx is not a good place to be, but if you are as you describe yourself you might like the pace here better. In my opinion it's almost a little too conservative, but you never know.
deleted_user
deleted_user
So anyone that does not work, or does drugs is a Liberal you are saying right? Only Conservatives are good people right? So in your search for help you put down a whole group of people? Sorry man I can't be empathize with bigots. If it was not for the BS conservative thing I could empathize, and care. But I can't. I call BS on this one.
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