I fit most of the criteria for introvertedness, but it doesn't mean I like it. Some people have romantic notions about it since a few popular books were written about it a few years ago, and a few artists, writers and other celebrities are/were introverts. They all tell you it's okay to be who you are and to be okay with it, but that does nothing to resolve the sense of disconnectedness and isolation that comes with it, or provide support.

As introverts, we may hate large parties and small talk, but we are still human, social animals who need to feel like we have a support network and people to spend time with us once in a while, and yet the rest of the world carries on and leaves us behind as if we are robots, content to sit by the fire and read a book day after day or ponder our inner thoughts because we're "inwardly directed," as they like to say.

I think the latest round of books has been somewhat helpful in getting the world to understand us, but not completely, and not as individuals. In some ways the "Understand Introverts" movement has painted us as one-dimensional hermits who like to live in caves, rather than human with many needs like everyone else. Most of the comments on this board seem to confirm that.

Can you clarify the meaning of your last sentence? What is it that you are trying to say?

I am an introvert as well as relocated to a new area 3 years ago. I hardly know a soul in my area and unable to meet men. And yes, I am an introvert. Tried online dating off and on for years, with no success. I live in a state that is so remote.

SweetPetite: I guess I'm trying to say that many of the comments here seem to reflect that many introverts do indeed feel lonely and isolated like everyone else, assuming most of us here lie on the introverted side of the spectrum somewhere. While our needs for connection may be different than those of extroverts, many of us still have those needs.

It is difficult to articulate to the extroverted world that many of us are not hermits. While there may be introverts out there who honestly want to be left alone, many of us are still social animals, but in a different way than extroverts. We want connections, but are seen by much of the world in binary terms: "Do you want to go to the club or big party? Or do you want to be alone?..." The answer for many of us is neither, but it is a constant struggle for mixed-introverts or ambiverts like some of us to find a happy medium.

Hope that helps.

I learned something about myself this afternoon. My best friend Tom's aunt wanted to meet me. The house was full of people. I gave her a hug cuz that's what I do, no hand shakes for me. I began to talk loud and fast. I think it's just nervous energy but I'm hoping it's not annoying to others. I suffer from Agoraphobia quite often and that is when I become Introverted. Other wise I talk a lot to people I meet. Especially about sports! Hugs

I'm an introvert and yet I have had to learn to be kind of extroverted. It has been hard. I ha e always had jobs that required it of me. I still need lots of alone time. I process everything internally still but I ha e learned how to talk to just about anyone. Although I only ha e a few friends but I've had them for years and years. I don't want superficial friends. I'm lonely lots though.

I was thinking about this and I am not sure. I can function in a social situation but public speaking or parties are out. I usually hide out in the bathroom or kitchen.

This past year has been a year of self discovery for me. I finally at this point of my life woke up to the fact that my mother is nuts and her emotional abuse toward me has affected a lot of how I see the world.

For example, if I went to the party, I would be the one serving food or working in the kitchen because I felt that people only put up with me if I worked for it.

So not only do I not know the social rules, I also am learning to untangle my mother's messages and who I really am.

Right now, I know that when I am with people, I am exhausted including my son.

Thank you for the topic. And thank you for putting up with my ramblings.

I consider myself introverted. I will do things with people at times, but after awhile I get uncomfortable and leave. I don't have any close friends. The people I do talk to are just from work. I think I have become less shy as long as the conversation is short. If it gets longer then I get more uncomfortable. I tend to not know what else to say.

I was an introvert for years due to bullying, abuse, and fear of being laughed at. I do suffer from Agoraphobia and I cannot stand to talk in front of a crowd, but that aside, I think I'm more of an extrovert. I was an introvert long enough and have worked hard to break out of my turtle shell. Hugs