Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

11,068 Members
10,372 Posts
1 Online
Mental Health
/ Loneliness Support Group

Alone too long

apocalytize
apocalytize

I'm so tired of being alone to the point where I have developed intense fear and health anxiety, but I also don't have anywhere to go and I don't feel like there are any people in my life that I can rely on besides a text here or there. I feel like I haven't been able to genuinely connect with anyone since my ex and I broke up five years ago and I keep driving people farther and farther away. I want to connect but I don't know how to let people in or even talk to them really. Nighttime is the worst. I've also had to go down to working three days a week because of health problems, so I'm alone the majority of the week. I'm not very close to my coworkers but even just the presence of others is reassuring. I just don't know what to do at this point. I can recognize that I need support/ shouldn't be living alone, but I don't know how or who to ask. 

Supercoolcat1984
Supercoolcat1984
If u like to chat I here hugs
Bobby5000
Bobby5000
Good luck. I think the first thing is small steps. Try to get out a little more. You may want to consider anti-depressants if you're not taking them already because this anxiety is having a marked impact upon your life. Consider writing down what you did right and wrong and then taking some steps towards another relationship.
Tropicaloo
Tropicaloo
Acceptance is a good goal to aim for. I found myself alone too after many years of trauma caused by the wrong company. It messed with my head for a long time but then I used it as a catalyst for personal growth. A lot of Buddhist philosophy and teachings of echardt Tolle helped amongst others. Turn a negative into a plus and find yourself. BTW I’m still a work in progress but I’m getting there. Good luck
urbangardener
urbangardener
You say you keep driving people away further and further. What specifically does this mean?

Loneliness is an epidemic in the Western world. And as we age and start to experience health challenges, the fear and anxiety creeps in. Who will help us when we need help. Sometimes we don't know we have options and sometimes we refuse to consider any changes to our lives to make them better.
apocalytize
apocalytize
Hello everyone, thank you for taking the time to respond. I am working on the anxiety with my doctor, it’s just been a long process and gets very overwhelming at times, as well as being alone makes it harder for me to manage.

I struggle to make and maintain friendships, I often find myself googling how to start a conversation or how to make friends because I feel like I’ve been at a loss for this ability my whole life. I’ve always said the friends I have had “adopted me” and because I am so lonely I have ended up with some not great ones. I also get embarrassed about reaching out to people, especially family, because I feel like I can’t live up to their expectations of me. I’m 31 and everyone always thought I would do so great in life but I haven’t been able to finish school and I have a very difficult time taking care of myself. I’m afraid that they will reject me if they know the truth or get sick of me because I am so high maintenance. So I push people away or stop talking to them.
jenkcat
jenkcat
I totally understand how you feel. I feel the same way. I’ve been by myself since my mother passed away I left a 13 year relationship, If you want to chat, I’m here.
Hereforyou
Hereforyou
Hey! I’m sorry you’re going through so much!! If you want to talk Message me! I also have health anxiety from dealing with a lot lately!
OysterBay
OysterBay
Nights are hard for me too. I'm often awake until dawn while most people are sound asleep. No one even online. It's been rough since my roommate / best friend passed away. I've lived alone ever since.

Worse is I live in a tiny desolate town, on a long lonely highway. Have no car, no close friends or family. Open my door and it feels like I'm lost on the moon. I get bad panic attacks from the isolation, partly due to ptsd. I can't even hop in a car or on a bus or train, and head into town. I'm stranded out here.

Can't wait to get back to civilization. Although that's no guarantee I will make new friends. Hard to find people I click with. Even harder to find friends who genuinely care. I usually wind up with fake narcissist "friends" who don't give a hoot about me and are often abusive.

Anyway I do wish you luck making new friends. And I understand how it feels to split up with an intimate partner. My last steady girlfriend has been gone many years and the boredom and loneliness can be unbearable at times.