Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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A Hopeless Case

Wolfy01
Wolfy01

Hello everyone I'm nearly 50 and I've been single most of my life,.I long for companionship,and always have done ever since I was 19,


when my first relationship broke down and ended I was so deeply hurt,I felt I could never go through that again, I really sunk into deep dark depression,which lasted for many years,I met finally met someone in my mid 30s I was very vulnerable, and this woman just walked all over me,and treated me with nothing but scorn and contempt,it lasted for two years, after a year I met someone else,she was many years older than me but we got on well and she treated me with love and respect,but the age difference was always an issue, for me mainly because I wanted a family,she'd already had one and was now no longer fertile,we eventually parted 5 years ago and I've been single ever since,


To be single for so long just isn't normal,I don't know why women aren't attracted to me,I look at some men and see they're always surrounded by beautiful women, but they never seem to notice me,this fills me with despair,and when I look back over my life and see how barren it's been,I really feel I bear the mark of cain, cursed to wander alone in a barren desolation,of modern life,I've tried Internet dating but I just can't even attract any women on there,of all the introduction's I send 99% of them are just ignored, and it just leaves me feeling hurt.and seeing women as being very rude,impolite and cruel,I'm nearly 50 and am now at a complete loss,I've got no real fiends and I don't know what to do now my future looks so grim,and my life just so meaningless and unfulfilled.every single day I'm consumed with despair regret and hopelessness,...I have such a strong desire for companionship,but it's futile for me to even think I could find a partner...because I can't..it really is as simple as that..it's always been like this,why should I think it'll ever be different,I've built up hope in the past,only to have my hopes dashed, I don't feel like I'm a real man and this just makes me stay away from other men cuz I don't want them to think I'm a freak of some kind or a gay,...I'm none of these but I'm at a loss about my situation,I can't ever see it improving I have all the natural instincts that humans have for companionship,but I know I have to let go of these wants hopes needs and desires of mine,because all they do is lead me to despair


I don't feel normal,and I'm sure women see this,and this is what turns them off me  


Any feedback would be greatly appreciated 

Debbalina
Debbalina
Your post struck a chord with me. I am 50 and never married. Up until I was 45 I had several long relationships that were rewarding but just never panned out to be marriage material. Then when I was in my late 40s I started to struggle with depression and the well went dry. I haven't dated anyone in nearly 5 years. I fear my remaining life will be spent alone and it scares me. I crave closenesss, caring, touch. It feels abnormal to be so alone. Humans weren't meant to be alone. I give you credit for getting on the dating sites, they scare me off. The other day I was in a park and there was a couple nearby laughing and holding one another. I never use to notice stuff like that but that day it cut straight to my heart. I'll never have that again, I thought. But at least you are making the effort. I've kind of given up. I wish there were magic words to say to make it all ok but i know your pain all to well and I'm at a loss for encouraging words. Just know you aren't alone in how you feel. I hope the tide turns for you soon.....
billwfriend
billwfriend
in same boat here....hugs
billwfriend
billwfriend
try meetup,com for some activities and singles groups activities as this is a great way to meetup with new people and become friendly....dude you cannot isolate yourself from people get out and have fun if nothing happens you enjoyed yourself still so go do more of that same enjoyable events....meetup does all kinds of events...dinners...dances....wineries....movies....coffee....concerts you name it there are people in meetup doing it.....singles groups by age are great too...over 40 over 50 ect exist
koolman
koolman
I'm 51 and kind of in the same boat. Some women ARE attracted to me but I'm either not attracted to them or they're ridiculously too young for me or are already involved with other men. I think the reason some women are attracted to me is because I'm physically and spiritually strong, and thus I'm REALLY present for them when we have a conversation. I don't fear pain. I accept pain as part of life. I'm not afraid to cry. Why am I strong? I physically exercise regularly and I attend church, but I think it goes deeper than that. I've stared death in the face, watched my beloved brother die, then communed with him in dreams. When you've stared death in the face, you're not. scared of anything else, really. Rejection is but a splinter compared to the thorn of grief I endured. So I go right up to women and talk with them. I think some of them get the wrong idea, like I'm trying to get in their pants, and maybe that's part of it, but I'm looking for a friendship too. I just enjoy TALKING with women. I don't even care if that talking leads to sex and romance. I just enjoy the pleasant conversation, where we go shallow or deep, share a few laughs, maybe talk about deep things too. I think not really looking for anything beyond that is the secret.
koolman
koolman
The problem for me is when I DO begin to care for a woman, beyond mere friendship, and it can't lead to more, because she's already involved with someone else, lest I be the guy she's cheating on her boyfriend or husband with, and this hurts me. I'm a glutton for punishment, torment, I guess. I guess I'd rather feel pain than feel nothing at all, which is where I'm usually at. It'd be nice to feel sweet love, joy and pleasure too! Keep plugging.
koolman
koolman
Also, I feel compelled to mention that, even when I was in a relationship, having someone is not the end but merely the beginning, I still had to continue to stand up for myself and fight with her when necessary, to be heard and understood, to fight for my very own soul. When you're too weak and sappy, are relying on another person for strength or don't like yourself to begin with, of course others are not going to know how to handle this, are going to find it a drain on THEIR souls, are going to walk all over you, be mean and antagonistic toward you and otherwise treat you badly. You have to develop a sense of healthy anger, don't take any shit and be willing to walk away from abuse. I'd rather be alone than suffer the foils of abuse. Finding strength, within myself and God within me, is not a problem for me. Finding DIRECTION? Problem. I pray to God every day to give me a direction for this life, to develop, cultivate the right warm, loving tone in a relationship, a sweet, caring and strong bond, so that I may attract the right mate and WE can enjoy that eternal joy and bliss that all long for. I pray for you too, man. It's not good that men should be alone! We need help mates!
Wolfy01
Wolfy01
Thank you everyone for your kindness,it's good to know I'm not alone,and I'm glad I've found this support group
I feel a bit better today,and I'm trying to stop thinking about wanting a partner
But I'm sure this need will every leave completely
Thanks all ..and have a great day :)
koolman
koolman
I for one say you're quite welcome, my pleasure. Yes, that need will surface again. Sometimes we need that special help mate just to have somebody to talk with, share warm feelings with, just to get through the day. Keep throwing out the warm vibes. Best, M
itsallgood
itsallgood
Dude, I'm a woman in my 50's and I am still single, never been married. I'm still looking but I'm wondering where my soul mate is? I'm currently taking care of my father, but when he "departs" I'll really be alone, and I dislike that idea...a lot. Well, here's wishing everyone luck for the future!
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