I'm so sorry to hear of your pain. Of course you are in shock! Did you see this coming? Did you plan for her to say that a week ago? NO! Shock is just the beginning. I wish I had good news to tell you, but from what I experienced, you are in for a long haul up & down the roller coaster. There's lots of pain, hurt, anger etc but you can get through it. Lots of us have. And the 1 shred of good news is that at the end (if that's what happens to you), you can have a second chance and time to find yourself again.

There is another forum here too, Breakups & Divorce, that you might check out. It has more members who are at the stage you are in. But you are welcome here of course too! There are lots of good people here that will lend any support they can.

Strap your seatbelt buddy and hang in there!

Sorry to hear your going through this..My pain started at thanksgiving...Just knowing that I was not alone helped...And your not alone,this happens to good people all the time...Keep your head up, it may seem imposible but things will get better..Hang in there, lean on us,I did alot of leaning,the people on these boards are great...

I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. Divorce is a very hard thing to go thru and it hits you in many ways. I am the one who initiated my divorce which was not an easy thing to do. In the beginning my ex-husband couldn't think why I did it but as time past he realized it was something that he should have seen coming. Sometimes it just takes the dark clouds to clear to see why things ended up the way they did. This is not to say I blame him for the way it ended...it just did and we both realized why after it was too late. None the less the pain is real and will be a rollercoaster ride..it was for me because it was not where I thought it would end up but it did. Not to make you feel worse but more to feel prepared this will take awhile to get thru. I wasn't prepared for the range of emotions that I would go thru..so just be prepared and know it will pass in time. There is a great book I read that really helped...Divorce & New Beginnings by Genevieve Clapp that I highly recommend you read. Hang in there and go thru the emotions you will go thru because there is no short cut. But it does get better I promise you that. Just seek out any support you can and keep talking. Talking to people who have been there really helps. You may think this will never end but it will in time. Please read the book I suggested. I'm here if there is anything I can do to help.

(((((((Hugggggggsssss)))))))))) sorry you are hurting. I know this is a difficult time for you. Hang in there and realize things will get better eventually. It make take some adjusting and lots of time, but just keep the faith that the pain will someday ease up. We are all here if you need to vent....

Hey friend, I know the gut wrenching pain of which you speak. I know the fear of not having your spouse and children under your roof (I have a 9 and 3 year old). My friend, take comfort in this: There is no worse pain than a broken heart. Once you make it through this, you can make it through anything. You are going to spiral, sometimes up, but most of the times down. You have to recognize these downward trends before your mind gets out of control and stop them by thinking positive. It is going to seem impossible at times, but it can be done. Don't prolong the pain by begging her to come back or demeaning your character or compromise your integrity. You can't change her mind. The fastest way through this is right through the center, you cant dance around it by trying to find someone else too soon, or by making excuses to go see her so you can try to convince her to come back. You have to go through each emotion, you have to feel it then put it behind you. It is a long journey, but you will be a WARRIOR when you get to the other side. Hang in there and when you feel like your at rock bottom, get back on this site and post and read and remember that there is another side and it will be better than living a life where you argued all the time. Stay strong brother!

Thanks for all of the reply's. All of you seem to have 'been there, done that.' My stomach and chest feels some physical pain. Not like a heart attack or something, but hurt kind of pain. Do you know what I'm talking about?

yes, This is the Been There, Done That group.

The just got dumped group is down the hall, on the left. http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/support-group

it takes a good 3-6-9-12-15-18 months before you'll start feeling kinda quasy human again and then realize that before you were married you were YOU, and YOU can be YOU Again.

I know exactly the physical pain associated with the end of a marriage. I was literally heartbroken when I realized my marriage was over. I was sobbing uncontrollably and experienced physical pain at the thought of not being with my son every day. However, you will make it through. My world fell apart. I couldn't believe that it was over. I knew it was bad but I thought we would try to work at it. Unbeknownst to me my ex had met someone else. I'm glad I didn't know about it right away. We were able to settle amicably. I then started on the long process of getting over my broken heart and adjusting to life where I don't see my son every day. He was only two when we divorced. Two and a half years later I'm over my broken heart and I am on the journey of rediscovering me. I own my own house, I am single every other weekend which allows me to do things and not worry about a babysitter. I'm proud of the progress I've made. You can do it too. Don't rush anything. Go through the emotions. Take care of yourself and your children. We've all been there so we're here when you need us.