Life After Divorce Support Group

This community is dedicated to starting over after a divorce. With the marriage over, how do individuals begin a new chapter in their lives and what hurdles do they face? Divorce is often one of the most traumatic periods in a person's life. Studies show it is the second-most stressful event in life, after the death of a spouse.

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angelndragon03 03/27/2016

I recently found out that my ex was engaged. The divorce was final last October, a year after we split. He moved in with her 4 months after moving out. I shouldn't be surprised, he told me he liked being married. He likes being taken care of. Why does it bother me so much? I enjoy being on my own, being accountable only for myself. We could never have gotten back together, to much had been said and done. I always felt that he would be more compatible with someone else, but when I saw the post online that he was engaged, my heart dropped. What the hell is wrong with me?

lb7268 03/27/2016

There is nothing wrong with you. I believe this is a normal reaction. I dread the day if my EW ever becomes engaged.

Ugginz 03/29/2016

Perhaps we all have a place, deep inside where we will always care for the person we thought we'd spend our life with.

Your feelings are normal and as sad as it all was, you can leave the black clouds behind and chase your rainbow if you dare.

darcyld 03/29/2016

I hate the fact that my EX got remarried because I hate the fact that he's happy! :) Not sayin I'm unhappy by myself, I just don't want him to be happy at all! :) Plus he's dragged our kids down with him. Our kids hate their new step mommy. My EX only thinks of himself.

dylanmurphy 07/03/2016

I don't think we completely fall out of love with them. They just now occupy the rooms in our heart we don't visit. News like a relationship or moving on is the thing that would open those doors wide.

My wife is the one who wants the divorce. I did not, please note, past tense, did not. Now I want this over. I wish her well, I wish her joy, happiness and success. I want the same for me.

Hang in there. Sorry it hurts. I think it may do the same for me at that time, but we are, all of here will be ok.

Minidogs2 07/06/2016

One possible explanation is that it could just trigger past feelings and memories that haven't been completely dealt with. Another possibility is you might compare yourself with that person and wonder why he would want to be with her and not you. Hopefully it doesn't continue to bother you too much.

anna_bella.tt 08/02/2016

Nothing is wrong with you. When something similar happened to me, I felt the same, because I felt betrayed. I loved him, put in all the energy and effort, and he chose someone else? That betrayal hurt. It also feels like a lie - the love he claimed to have had for me was not true. I felt burned.Like I was second rate, and not good enough to fight for. I think we love some people unconditionally for years and years, and there's parts of us that may never get over it, but we learn to cope and just live with it. What can help is accepting that there may be parts of you that are like that, but you understand that its not so straightforward to invest in that anymore. That you come first, your life and your priorities are separate and no longer depend on what he does. His narrative is his. What is yours? Do something loving for yourself, maybe that will help. He deserves happiness, maybe, but do you? Don't let this steal your happiness.

lonelygal27 08/18/2016

I dread the day when my ex will be with somebody. So I totally understand. It would be like - is she better than me ?

gigitotwo 08/23/2016

The thought of knowing he has moved on so quickly (15 days after we've ended a 22 year marriage-papers aren't even filed yet!) and "SHE is who he has loved and waited for his whole life" kills me. Knowing he's moved on so quickly and cannot wait to re-marry is a blow to anyone's psyche. But the best thing for you to do (and me too) is heal your heart so you'll be happy. Don't cover your emotions or try to speed up the process because then, you will have learned nothing.
Be the best version of you & gain that confidence back (that was smeared all over the floor).
I told my stbx today that he should take his copy of the divorce papers on his trip to go see her this weekend and they could both read them together.
My new life will begin 95 days from today, but in the meantime, I must learn how to pick up my "smeared life" off the floor.
Good luck

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