Just be. No need to worry about dating. When you're ready you'll know. No rush.

I wonder about this too. I'm no where near ready to date as divorce process is just starting. Hoping finalized in next few mths as that is generally how long uncontested divorce in my state take...hoping will be uncontested.

But I wonder about the future. Will I meet someone. Don't even know where to start. Know a lot about what type of guy would not be interested in, but seems the type I would want would probably already be taken. Assume when I meet someone, they will be divorced like me. But would need to be a long marriage to have much in common.

Friend on DS actually met her fiance on eharmony. Have you thought about that?

look at the opportunities in your area to develop a good social life. hobbies and interests and things that interest you.

the upside of being divorced is that we have tons of control. with our spare time, we can really jump into other areas of life depending on what we are into.

about the exact same situation here. I ask myself that question on occasion, friends tell me that they're envious of my situation while many nights I am just 'on my own', doing my own thing... it is mundane and boring, but I don't ache for a significant other either. So, what I would offer I guess my own self in this situation is, enjoy my freedom and the ability to take action of my own thoughts, feelings, future without the need of approval or consideration of another I'm locked in with? Granted, there's tremendous upside to being involved with someone in a healthy manner, however, as a piece of information I gave another friend recently, you cannot be good to another without being good to yourself. So, do some thing that would be pleasing to you only.
Obtain an advanced degree, go on a trip somewhere you've not had buy in from your partner to take you've wanted to, get involved in a hobby that would bring you joy, learn a new skill or take on a new activity.
Too many people I know rush into things and then they are back where they started.
So, whenever the answer gets posted, I'd like to obtain the same advice. Sometimes we feel it's a mundane life and existence when in reality, it's a new sense of freedom and autonomy to pursue the dreams we put on hold or altered..

I don't know-I was lonely in my marriage every since I almost died 4 years ago and the two months before he left me ( he was having an affair) I was really lonely--my devorce won't be until october 22nd so i can't even really think about dateing-well I can think -just can't date yet and then i think of the statistics of ending up with the same type of jerk I was married to and wonder if it would be worth the effort

but how to live with the loneliness?

Lonliness is not a problem most of the time. I keep extra busy with a variety of things. Not interested in being with someone just to be with someone. Did that already. Fail. Perhaps I am coming to terms with the fact that not all people are meant to be with people. I am sure that most people are together for the wrong reasons. I have seen so many unhappy people. So many divorces. I scratch my head and think "whats the point?"

I, too, feel lonely, especially in the evenings. My counselor tells me to "think outside the box" so I've been trying to do some things I've always wanted to do: visited New York and took in 4 Broadway shows, took a road trip to visit friends along the way, went to some pro baseball games, etc. All this has helped, but I am still lonely when at home and then have some pity parties. People and my counselor tell me I will eventually be comfortable with my "singleness," but so far, I haven't reached that point. My advice to all (as if I am capable of giving advice) is to just "hang in there."

It has been about 4 1/2 years since I split with my ex and I thought life was over. It took me a long time to get used to being alone when the kids were gone and alone raising kids when they were home. I have learned to enjoy my life and being alone. You say it is not about being alone, to me I have thought of what it would be like to be with someone all of the time again. I love having my king size bed to myself, I do what I want and when I want. I am free to sit on the couch and veg when the kids are not around and I have total control when the kids are around. LIfe is good alone. I have also furthered my education and am now buying a home by myself and will have ton to do being a home owner again. Another important thing I do is go to church, it fills me up weekly and helps push me through life knowing I am loved and can be happy alone or with someone.

I too have recently dealt with the loneliness. My divorce has been final for over 2 years. The first 12 months or so was just trying to deal with the fact that after 16 years, my life was so very different. I have dated a little, but not dating right now.

Like someone else said, I love having my house and bed to myself. There have been times lately when I just hate being alone. Doing everything alone gets really old. Makes me wonder if I will spend the rest of my life by myself.

I'm not in any rush. My pets, my friends and my practice fill my days. I do know some people have tried meetup.com and found it useful in finding people of similar interests. It is not a dating site but rather a friendly meeting site.

Lynne

I've started hosting game and movie nights at my house. Everyone brings a dish, and everyone is welcome to bring a friend, which helps me to broaden my social circles. I've also been working hard to step out of my comfort zone.

On nights when I don't have my son, I force myself to go out and step out of my comfort zone. Sometimes it's something as simple as going to the movie store, instead of watching the on demand channels, or eating dinner of a local restaurant instead of getting take out so that I get out of the house for an hour and force myself to be social. Sometimes I sign up for volunteer projects, which helps me to quit feeling sorry for myself. And, I also go to a lot of professional networking events, at which I meet a lot of other like minded people from whom I can learn a lot. A good friend of mine once told me that single people need to look at having a social life as a job, the same way that married people have to attack being a spouse. Good luck to you.

I was married 29 1/2 yrs, and divorced now 3 yrs. After two yrs I dated a woman for 11 months, however she left the relationship because she had not delt with recovery from her past relationships.
I appreciate the independence as a single person, however a major part of me longs to have a special person to share in life. Some days I wished things could have turned out differently, however that's the past and I need to deal with the reality of the situation.