I am in the same boat. Well the time frame is different. We separated last august. I moved out in June and we are filing in November. I hope it goes as quickly as yours. Is that a normal time frame? I was just saying the exact same thing about getting over her and moving on. I went on a two hour bike ride yesterday and spent a huge part of it thinking about her and the relationship. I haven't dated anyone yet, but I know I would like to at some point. I think I want to wait until I am not thinking about her and what happened throughout the marriage. Jesus, that could be years! Haha! As always wish you the best. It sounds like you are healing.

honestly i wonder the same thing.

my D isn't final yet, but in my mind and heart it is, there is NO going back to him, ever, if that makes sense.

im not dating; for one b/c i said (to myself) that i wouldn't until my D was final, so i have not put myself out there at all. but also b/c i haven't encountered any opportunity, not quite sure how i'd feel if it presented itself at this point.

but, i too wonder when i will move on and how i will know? all the stupid shit he does still makes me mad, so distraction is the only way i can avoid that. if i do allow the thoughts in, to see how they sit with me, i get mad. so i push them out.

i know i am better off, but there are times that, as you say, he gets to me, he gets into my mind...

I've wondered the same thing. I was married for 27 years before I got divorced. It was final in June this year and I moved out in January. I know he's moved on because he's living with the "other woman." I am still sad at times but its lessening as time goes on. No contact has been a big help there but my kids are adults so that's a viable option. I know with small children, complete no contact is not possible.

I'm not dating yet but I hope to be someday. I am just focusing on healing now and taking it all as it comes. I know it was the right thing to do since he cheated but it doesn't make it any less difficult. We all know what you're going through.

It takes as long as it takes so don't focus on time tables because I think that's what frustrates us most of all; when we think we should be healed and 'over it' but we're not.

Hang in there.
http://thevarmps.tumblr.com/

It takes time. I was married for 11 years when we split. Our divorce was final earlier this month and we have been separated since January. He is in a relationship and yes it does sting to think about the past. I think you are ready to move on when you are content with your life and you are healed. It just depends on your own marriage and what led to a divorce. Some people heal and move on faster than others...

I'm wondering this same thing. My divorce is final, we actually separated this time last year. I have no idea if he is dating, we have no contact. I have no dated anyone since we divorced, because it was kind of a whirlwind with everything. I honestly haven't even attempted to put myself back out there. If I meet someone great, but I am not looking to online date or anything that my friends are trying to get me to do. I really feel that I'm over my ex though, I'm just guarded about getting into another relationship.

Hello,
I divorced in 2007,it was not an easy choice to make ,as we had been married 48 years ,and together 3 years prior to that. however after a lot of deep thinking ,I decided it was for the best both for my husband and for myself ,as over the years I felt we had simply grown apart.it was not what he wanted ,but we went ahead anyway,I have since re married and very happy, and my dear ex husband is equally happy with his new partner.We still stay as friends ,and help each other out if and when needed.There was never any animosity between us at any time ,so to all who worry about it being amicable ,it is by far the best way to go about it
My wedding ring went to my only Daughter who still has it
millyimp1322

If you have to ask, then you have not yet finished the emotional divorce and you still need time.

I am now 4 years divorced after 13 years of marriage and only in the past 6 months did I realise that I really have moved on. It took time and a lot of hard work to heal and create a much better life for myself.

Give yourself much more time and you may wish to reconsider dating and putting that off just a bit longer.

It's not really 'cut n dry'....

You may even think you've moved on, but the truth is, we all have a space in our hearts for people we have loved, no matter how much they've hurt us.

I prefer to think that SHE's moved on and what is the point of dwelling on if's and maybes... the options went along with the marriage and the past are your private memories, happy or sad.

Every day is an opportunity to do something for you and all the other people in your life who care.

I found no contact hurt a lot less and stopped me being a 'victim'. All those 'stages' you go through affect how you think of the ex, but you eventually live in the now and tommorow.

Everybodys breakup stories, relationships and outcomes are different, so take the advice and make your own decisions in your own time.