Life After Divorce Support Group

This community is dedicated to starting over after a divorce. With the marriage over, how do individuals begin a new chapter in their lives and what hurdles do they face? Divorce is often one of the most traumatic periods in a person's life. Studies show it is the second-most stressful event in life, after the death of a spouse.

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/ Life After Divorce Support Group

Takers Not Givers

wm98
wm98
After 2 yrs. out from my divorce I entered into an 11 mo. relationship with a woman , which she ended for no reason. Amazingly one month into the relationship, I knew she was not the one based on all the red flags. I began to notice that she was into self and capitalize on me being a "giver". I did so much for her, which today I realize was not healthy on my part. A true relationship is not based on "what can I get, but rather what can I give " to make this a healthy relationship, and knowing that when times get tough that person will be there by your side.

So based on my last sentence is this belief a fallacy or a potential reality, because I'm beginning to feel that there are few people with these qualities.
antaresmom
antaresmom
WM there are many people with those qualities out there,willing to be there for you no matter what,we all have good and bad days,probably the best quality you can find in another person is that they are there to try to help you turn the bad day into a good one, it takes time to find the "diamond in the rough" sorta speak....hang in there it will get better in time.
runnerkate
runnerkate
There are those out there...trust me. You have learned a lesson with this one, now take that lesson and keep moving on. Look for a woman that values the same things you do, that has value in people...not possessions or "things"... Someone who values you as a person...or who takes a keen interest in others well being...not just her own. I know myself personally will look for that in my next relationship... money, possessions... they mean nothing... I want your time, your respect, your actions that show me you care...not your credit card. Watch them to see if their actions match your values. Good luck... those women and men are there!!! They are sometimes hiding.... but they are there!
Lstecker
Lstecker
I'm with the girls here. Sure, you have learned something wayyyyy valuable. There are plenty of those out there that are huge takers. They are only looking out for themselves and will take you for everything you have. Then, you find those that are willing to give you the shirt off their back, so to speak.

Wm, you just ran into a bad one. Don't let it wreck your whole perception of human society. Good people are still out there.

Take care, L~
deleted_user
deleted_user
there are a lot of great people out there-it is just hard to find them---and we have to look at more than how a person looks--

I hope I can be brave as you and someday look forsome one to love me and that I can love back --

but after what my husband and his whore hs done it will be very hard to trust anyone again. I am afraid the guys i will meet will be like my ex----but I guess I don't have to worry about looking until after my devorce is final :-)
deleted_user
deleted_user
WD, don't bank on a woman to be there in the hard times. the odds are against it. find a way to provide for yourself if you can't find one.