Yup. Single and alone, and (mostly) at peace with it. Divorced a year in May, now closer to 60 than 50 (ugh). I just don't see it happening for me. I work with all women, I've tried a few meetups but they're quite a drive, and they were just ok. Frankly I look at guys my age and think "they're so old!!" Yeah I get that it's hard to make new friends. I kept 3 good ones, but we don't really get together that often - they're always busy. I'd love to connect with people I could see on a weekly basis, but I haven't put that much effort into it. Rejection is pretty much my roadblock. My friends seem to think I'm dateable - but I just don't feel it. Maybe when I'm fully an empty nester I'll put more effort out there. Honestly, I'm still high riding the tide of being rid of my ex.

Jojored wow your story is so similar to mine. My divorce anniversary is next month. I have one college student left at home. She leaves in August for nine years of vet school. It's funny I too look at men my age and thank crap they're old LOL. I still like to get out and do fun things but I'm selective about the company I keep as well. If you ever want to chat feel free to contact me

I know how you feel. I will never marry again. I'm way out in the boonies and I love the life I've built too much to let some man back into my life. Not bitter, . No meet ups in my area.

Unfortunately I live fifteen miles from town. It's a rich little town full of it's own self importance. A lot of very rich people live here. Then there are the F well known polo players. You see them all over town with sweet young things on their arms. After 33 years with the ex I really don't think much of ever getting involved with another man. I keep my distance and I stay way too busy. Yes, they all look so old and worn out.

Ok ladies you’re making this hard on the men out there trying to date. I’m 56 and look at ladies near my age and think they’re old looking too. I definitely look ten years younger than my age. This is good insight to what I’m finding in the dating world.

@lb7268

I'm not totally against dating. It's not going to happen where I live now. I was raised to be a loner and had to learn to be independent.
I have things I want to do while I still have the time. I have a farm and board horses and that's pretty much a full time job. It's what I wanted to do for a long time and the ex didn't want people around when he got home from work.
I'm good at what I do and I take very good care of the horses and dogs on this farm. The horses don't cheat, they don't drink any beer. We did have one horse that liked to have some of the ex's beer. .For the first time in my life I'm doing what I want to do and I love my life. I would love it more in some other town but this is where I got left.

I'm sure you will find what you are looking for. Don't get discouraged the right woman will come into your life.

@lb7368 - sorry if my comments regarding dating are discouraging! I can only speak for myself. My issue in thinking guys in their mid 50s are "old", I think, is a disconnect between my actual age and the age I feel. I too look younger than I am, and I have a fairly active lifestyle. Most men I see my age are not regularly participating in outdoorsy exercises and activities. My ex was definitely lazy-lazy, didn't take care of himself at all, ate crap, was alot overweight, drank a pot of coffee a day, and smoked a pack a day. I would never want to be with someone like that again. Not saying that all guys are like that, for sure, but to be honest more middle aged people are slowing down their activities than are not, IMO.

I remember my mom saying in her 60s that she just couldn't figure out who that woman staring back at her in the mirror was. She still considered herself to be in her late 20s! I can relate to that. I guess that's not a good thing. Reality hits hard.

This conversation is so intriguing. I feel like I'm hearing my same story but from someone else. I as well do not mean this conversation to discourage anyone from dating. I think some of us who have been married more than 20 years have experience burnout. We don't feel like we have enough life left to spend it with some arsehole who only wishes to make us miserable. I too live in a small town on a small farm with dogs and horses. I'm at peace even though I'm alone most of the time. If I could meet somebody as a friend to hang out with that would be nice but not all that probable living in a small Cow Town

...another guy here...Insight from the woman's point of view is interesting. Funny about the "looking old" observation. I see it too (I'm 50/look 40) and am amazed how some my age haven't aged well. My divorce was horrible but (2 years since) I'm moving on. While I haven't lost hope for a great mate I too have trouble finding women. Part of me realizes occasional dating may be it for me and I am making peace with it if that's what the future holds. I'm pursuing my other goals and enjoying other parts of my life in the meantime. Still trying...it's the best we all can do. Hoping the best for everyone else on here too!

I am almost 70. I am sure that there are guys out there that are amazing and just would love a good mate. You cannot be afraid to live life. You have to take that first step. But be gentle with yourself. a couple of years divorced is not enough for some people. I am almost 11 years separated and divorced. Take as must "me" time as you need. You need to take chances. I know we were hurt brutally but that should not stop us from living. I love my own company but if the right man comes along, it will be the icing on a solid foundation. I go for coffee and just sit in parks. What I am trying to say, life is to short to worry about what other people think about us. Grab life and live it to the fullest

A definitely feel lonely. I live in a rural area. Age isn’t the issue in my selection. I am just north of 40, but I dated a guy almost 50 a few times since the divorce. I picked up a few red flags early in his behavior and ended it. My biggest challenge is meeting someone with similar interests (I love sports, being active, reading,etc.). Second biggest challenge is because my narcissistic ex made me feel inferior and suspicious of everyone’s motives, I am terrified of dating. Sucks to feel lonely and too scared to date.

I love where I live but don't like some of the people. The older rich polo players with their huge farms and the cute 30 somethings on their arms. I am inundated with polo players all around my 34 acre farm. I don't belong here but I'm making the best of it. I fill my days with farm work so I sleep well at night. No family here. Daughter is three hours away, other daughter is in MS. I love this land I'm making into a home. All we can so is keep putting one foot in front of the other to get thru our days. At least that is what I do.

No offense men, we love your input! I have tried dating 3 different men since my divorce 3 years ago ( short version, he left me after 7 years of marriage breaking my heart into a million pieces) but the men I dated got serious super fast!!! What happened to dating and getting to know each other before serious talk? Maybe I'm old school, maybe I'm just old......ha ha. I know I'm a great catch, wink wink, but please slow down guys, there really is no rush to get serious, is there????

Good luck all, life is sure interesting huh?

I've been divorced 31 yrs. Stayed single because there were NO more single people when I got divorced. Never really get used to being single. was married 6 yrs, I was scared of getting married again and even living with a guy. I got stronger with time to be able to date again but not get married. Marriage scares me. I find it hard to trust somebody with my heart again. I wanted a fun life he didn't.

We had our health, both of us had good income, no kids, he didn't want to do anything. It took a long time for me to understand why he pushed getting married during the engagement--so we could STOP going out! We did absolutely nothing, he even hated TV, "only watch good stuff (PBS channel) not junk." I told him--get yourself a recliner to sit and die." Years later, he found somebody else to marry him. She was going to divorce him too but he came down with congestive heart failure then he died in 2016. I thought you needed a heart to have this problem!

LOL to that last line energylost! I too was married to a SLUG. Not the high-falutin PBS type (I love PBS/NPR, and silly tv as well (favorite show: Naked & Afraid)), he was addicted to anything on the almighty TV. That majestic being which allowed him to veg out 24x7 and avoid all reality. Just kept the tv on full time, it was a sure-fire way to limit all communications with me, all activities with me, and avoid all work around the house/yard. I divorced him and let him have his mistress full time, I'm sure they are very happy together. I sure hope you have your energy back, energylost :)

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