My ex has never been a good dad to his children. He was never there for them. Yes, he used to be here physically but as far as being a dad to them.....he was lacking in every sense. I know my older son has a clear picture of what his dad is really like. I have selectively and carefully said only a few things to him. My younger son is only 4 1/2 yrs old. He has said some things recently that I'm not quite sure how to reply. I do my best, but I"m not sure it's good enough. The other day he said to me "mommy when I grow up I want to be an artist because I like to draw and I want to be a nice daddy....not like my daddy". So I just tell him that I hope when he grows up that I know he is going to be a wonderful daddy. Yet, there are other things that he says that are the opposite....like at his school they had to talk about things that they wanted to do (they were working on goals). He said "see dad more". Last time that my ex spent time with his boys was in February for 2 1/2 hrs. and saw them briefly in March. I can just tell that he's having confusing thoughts about his dad. What am I suppose to do to help him ? What about my older son too ? How can I tell if he's holding other feelings inside ? I jsut want to help them, but I"m not quite sure how.