Your Time will come. I know all the feelings you are having the jealously, the anger, the lonliness. It has been 4 years and I am now in a wonderful relationship. I have grown so much and learned to appreciate myself.

As far as your ex having someone new, my view was "now he is someone elses problem". When they really get to know him they may want to send him back. LOL

Get up, do something fun. Try not to talk about him. I will be honest, people get tired quick of hearing our sad stories. Your best revenge for him is to ENJOY YOUR LIFE!

the why not you statement stuck to me.
because you were more to handle for his little simple mind and have to think like that. you made him be a better man and he wanted to sink down a notch or two, so that's essentially what happened.
when you say you're the good one and he's the bad, what I hear is your entitled to happiness through another person as opposed to being happy with yourself.
good things DO come to good people but, your main duty right now as it's seen is, to be the mother to your children, and when you get a good solid handle on that major role, that is when another will be planted in your site. if it happened sooner, chances are, then the kids could possibly feel even more abandoned, first dad kicked us to the curb, now mom is too busy for us...
think about the children's needs first and granted it takes TWO to make a child in most instances (without the help of new science), then also both should be responsible in the raising of the kids, but that doesn't always happen.
The anger, bitterness, jealousy will subside, but the bottom line is you just want to be HAPPY. It doesn't have to be with another person believe me. Finding happiness is the real goal.

You will be happy again. It is best to start by realizing that no one person or situation can make you happy. Only you have that power. When you stop focusing on your ex, and start focusing on yourself, you will stop having the angry, jealous thoughts. You will see that life is good and will get better. Take this time to focus on what you want, not on what you don't have. You have a new "life story" to write. You don't want to define yourself by what happened to you, but by how you live your life now. Like Restored said, ENJOY YOUR LIFE and forget about him.

That anger and resentment will subside. It take time. It is a process. Truthfully you most likely will never get over it, but you will cope much better and you will find happiness either with another relationship or on your own . You have to concentrate on making it better for you and that means emotionally. Don't dwell on what he has done. (been there, done that). It isn't healthy and you will be much better to try to move on -- at your own pace -- but get on with your life. You will find happiness and peace one way or another.

I know the feeling very well. I made my situation worse by looking for the "right" guy for me. There are a lot of players out there that will take advantage of your situation....the need to be loved, held, understood, etc. And all it did to me was make me feel worse to be discarded by yet another man. On an up note, I do feel better now. Yes I do date but I am not looking for the person to fill the void, just looking to have good conversation with. My ex is now on gf #4 the "new" love of his life of which he is looking to get a place with after a month of dating her. Now I can sit back, keep my mouth shut, be happy that I am not doing that, and laugh my ass off when his true colors come out. Sweet revenge.

L-O-L Mimom. similar with watchin my ex. and he calls ME evry time a chick dumps him... ah.. too fun

but krndNewark, dont stress over it. Chances are him jumping in this soon he will end up getting hurt. You play it safe for you. There are studies and junk proving those relationships too soon after the big 'D' are unhealthy and usually end traumatic. If he feels a need to rush, chances are it is his own self image he feels a need to maintain after losing fabulous you. Take your time mending your own heart and when the time is right you can give it away to someone who you will know will cherish you, since you wont be blinded by emotions.

I can't imagine your level of pain, but I foresee I will have the same some day when I see my husband with a new partner. It sucks and it's not fair and I am so sorry that you have to suffer like this after all that you gave that man for 14 years.

As for your 3 kids, I know I just dropped my kids for their first supervised visit w/ their (abusive) dad and you would have thought it was a trip to Disneyworld -- they were so excited. He will be the special treat for them while, like you, I take care of their every need. The counselor who supervised told me they will always view their visits w/ him as more special than time w/ me.

Guess what? I wouldn't change places with that self-absorbed, shallow narcissist for all the money in the world. Neither would you.

We know we are in the right and good people and that's worth more than a thousand nights in the sack with some new girl toy that doesn't know what she's in for and will probably get worse than she deserves.

He's selfish! That's why he is able to move along so quickly (too quickly) despite hurting the kids and you. Maybe even making it known on purpose in order to hurt the kids and you.

All you know is that you were faithful 14 years. Maybe he was; maybe not. Maybe he is not as committed to monogamy and faithfulness as you are and that's why it's so easy for him.

So you are on the high road. Well, it's never the easy road. But it will lead you to a better destination in the end. So sleep well in your big, empty bed tonight. Hug a pillow. Have sweet dreams and peace. A kinder and better partner for you just might be waiting at the top of that high road for you. Have faith and patience. Good things are in store. At least, that is my prayer for you, krnd.

God knows what or who my husband is doing tonight, but I am not going to lose any sleep over it. That alone is worth the price of an empty bed.

OMG I know just what your feeling, my ex walked out after 18mths of "trying" to make things work (didnt try very hard). With in 2 months after the divorce, where he managed to keep most of the maritable finance, he told my youngest Oh by the way I have moved in with my girlfriend. I was so wild, really about the way he told the child, mand the fact that he obviously had waited until the divorce was finalised, in case I wanted more of his money, not "our" but his. It took a while for the anger to subside, then I saw him months later from a distance, and realised that I knew her !!!!!!! That set me off again, so I can fully understand your feelings, as I am still single, dont go anywhere to meet people.

It's hard to understand why bad things happen to good people. I do know though that we have to hang in there and make the best of it. It will work out in the end. Sometimes when you hit bottom the only way to go it up. There is a reason for everything even though I'm not sure of this sometimes. My ex wanted a divorce after 14 years of marriage. No kids. Said he was unhappy and did not want to be married anymore. Would I be hurt to see him with someone else? Sure. But I do deserve to have a good life even though it will be without him. I know it is hard but try to find the positive things right now and don't dwell on things. It only makes things hurt more. Focus on your kids. They need you. I still have my moments, but it is getting better as time goes on. That is the key, give it time.

What makes you think he is happy? Try not to get into that trap of letting him "define" your moods. I did that for some time, but now I do feel that he is someone elses problem, not mine anymore. Try to stay focused on your kids, exercise to get out frustrations and buy yourself a toy...a good man will come along, but not while you are still allowing ex to piss you off.