Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

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Wishing the high lasted

DesperateForTruth
DesperateForTruth

i felt so amazing the first few days I gave up any form of lying. At first I was on a high, because of my ability to handle it. Now things aren't as exciting and I'm realizing the work it takes to make sure every word I speak is truthful. It's now starting to feel like work. I'm ok with putting in the effort. I just wish the result was as rewarding every time as it was the first time. I won't give up, but I just wish the rewards would still feel as intense. 

TheCalligrapher
TheCalligrapher
you can do it! pull it off!
brijoy
brijoy
Maybe think about the small daily rewards of not lying vs the negative effects that lying causes? That could help.
DesperateForTruth
DesperateForTruth
Thanks for the feedback. However it's hard to not think about the negative. Being such a negative person is what motivated me to seek out a way to change. I feel like if I lose sight of the negative, I may lose sight of why I'm doing this. But I still have the ability to focus more on those rewards. I do need to work on not taking small things for granted. Thanks.
TheCalligrapher
TheCalligrapher
It's so easy to see yourself simply by the sum appearance of and I'll effects of past deeds. I wallow in that self loathing and I wish there was a simple mantra that would set me free. Sadly the joy can't be in just not lying, it has to be in the long term reward of winning your friends and family back to trust. but I'll agree that it's so hard to have any moments of clarity in the depths and murk of a review of failings. You can do it!
DesperateForTruth
DesperateForTruth
Fortunately I saw my self destructiveness in time to only destroy 1 relationship. Unfortunately it was the most important one I had. I hope time helps that, but some days it seem hopeless.

My drive comes from wanting to set a better example for my kids, and to be able to look myself in the mirror. By the nature of who my motivations are. It can make it tough to measure the progress, especially if I'm having a tough day.

If that other relationship heals then I'll be ecstatic, but some days that starts to feel like a lost cause. It won't change what I'm doing, or stop my efforts, but it can make things feel so much more painfully real.