I am in a similar boat. I have lied to my wife for many many years. Tried to fix it and lied some more. Tried to fix it and lied some more. I think I am finally getting on track to get things squared away but she has lived through so much fear it awful this but it's hard for her to focus on reality sometimes. All of it my fault.
Try this for starters. Pick one thing that you have lied to your wife about and every single day talk to her about it Ann Taylor that you have not lied about it that will help you become grounded at least on that one subject it may help her also to start to build a little security in that area. Just try one thing at a time and see how it goes.

I've done some more thinking about this, and I would like to add to or change my previous advice. The little at a time is not really a good idea. That put your wife thru the misery of having to deal with lies being revealed to here slowly, over a long period of time, never knowing when it will end. Not a good idea. I think the "dump it out" method will work the best. Get it all out, like ripping off the band-aid, then you can start the repair process all at once. I do believe that figuring out who you want to be will help you figure out what is truth and what is not. Take 2 more seconds before you say something and you will know if it is true or not. If not, don't say it, or correct it before it comes out.

I completely understand where you are coming from. I am afraid that the lies I have told will result in irreparable damage or that there are so many I can't even remember which ones I have told.

I'm in a similar situation. Just today my wife said that everything that comes out my mouth is worthless because I've lied so much. It is so bad that when I pointed out a bird and told her what kind it was she said, "I don't believe you." I also have trouble telling what is true and what is a lie. Some of that, at least, comes from lying to myself - about the kind of person I am, and thinking I know what my wife wants to hear. And I really do know. She wants to hear the truth. I may lose a wonderful marriage because of the lies I've told. But, hang in there because there is support here. Lying is a conscious decision. Take a moment, breathe, then decide to tell the truth. If you decide to lie instead, correct yourself right away. I didn't follow this good advice and my life is the worse for it.

I'm Ryliegirl and I am a chronic liar. Luckily, I live in total isolation, so I don't have anyone to lie to. But when I socialize, which is rarer than a sighting of the LochNess Monster, I don't lie most of the time, but if a situation comes up in which I'm going to lose the whole friendship if I tell the truth (politics and religion) I lie. I get a sad feeling when I do that, sad that I recognize that it's a crappy friendship because it would end over such small differences. But oh, it would! They've dumped every single person in the social circle who differed on those 2 points. I don't know anyone else in town (new here) (population 400--2 groups: rich people and poor people so you've gotta hold on to your place with the rich people. It's a WEIRD town in the deep South and "your station in life" is as alive as it was in the Civil War. It's exactly like England's social strata concept in this town. I swear, when people are introduced (presented) to you, one of the first questions is "Where did you make your debut?" --meaning where were you a debutante presented to society. Man, I had to lie FAST when that crap started. Came from a state where everyone was equal. Never saw anything like this before. And I kept my story consistent, so the former debutants now allow me into their society. You would have to see this to believe it. ). Anyway, I've gone for total isolation because being around people is a setting in which all my wrongs occur. If I were always in isolation, I wouldn't lie. I would lie a little on emails or phone, but I don't ever lie on facebook or my blog. But put me around humans and I am a LYIN' MACHINE if I get demoted for telling the truth and eventually shunned. I am on this page for a more ugly reason than the rest of you, I think. I am here to learn why lying is wrong, when it is an imperative for survival with horrible mega-rich people, or the other choice is isolation--which I've achieved, and it wasn't easy. By the way, the people who are my only friends (to whom I lie like a rug about politics and religion?) THAT one woman is the SINGLE Queen Bee of ALL society here, and by her choosing to be friends with me, I can maintain my status without ever having to go to the country club or the art openings or the gala fundraisers, etc. I need to move the hell out of here is what I need to do. Not an option. So I'm on this site to hopefully not make anyone angry when I tell this ugly truth about myself: I don't see why lying is wrong in situations that are very extreme, and where whomever or whatever has set it up so that if you don't say the right thing, you are in deep trouble. I'm here to learn why lying isn't okay in severely huge situations where the stakes are so high, they could lead to poverty, death, for some people suicide (not me). When is lying okay and when isn't it? Don't get mad at me. It was hard to say that.

DAILY CHECK-IN: Almost forgot this--whole reason I came here tonight and ended up talking too much. My name is Ryliegirl and I am a chronic liar. Today, I lied or exaggerated (is that lying?) to every single person I had a communication with, either in person or by phone. In some cases, I said what I GUESS is true, without knowing if it's actually true. So that falls under negligence, not intent to be a liar. However I did not lie once today to my dogs or my parrot, my only friends. And whenever I was silent, which was 99% of the day, I did not lie once.