Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
Ok I know I am gonna come off sounding arrogant by saying this but I am an above average looking lesbian whose in love with an overweight girl and I work as a fashion stylist/designer while my girlfriend is in the banking industry. We're about as different as day and night but somehow we manage to find each other.
Lately my girlfriend has been accusing me of being an attention whore, she thinks my fashion sensibilities and the way I look is asking for unnecessary attention. Honestly I feel this is coming from her own insecurities about me because she is overweight (which was never the issue for me). I feel this is completely unjustified as I have been the way I have been for as long as I've had this career (10 years). I am not sure how I can pacify her while maintaining what is essentially myself.
Also as this relationship grows longer while there are happy times, I sense an underlying fear in her. Her insecurities are being more and more apparent to me and its becoming very tiring to pacify her. Small things set her off. When I ask her if she is too tired to come over to my place she assumes that I don't want to see her. Or when I suddenly change my plans to have dinner with my family she accuses me of not telling her what's going on in my life.
On top of all that our arguments are becoming more frequent over very small minute things that just leads to old wounds and eventually she would throw the break up card at me. Whether she meant it or she was just testing me I don't know.
I understand why she would feel this way but I also think its getting out of hand. On top of that I have to swallow my pride about her strange 'friendship' with another girl which I have posted a weeks back asking for advice.
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Heal...
Now I know I sound like I am vilifying her as some crazy insecure gf but I know I fell in love with her for good reasons. She's completely different from all the other girls I dated before (my exes were all art school types or people in the alternative scene). She just seemed like that sort that was good for me and gave me the attention I needed to feel loved. And I know she's got a good head on her shoulders in that she has a goal in life and she is ambitious.
I feel rather emotionally drained and I have been contemplating leaving her even tho I do love her. Its just that I've had too many long dragged out painful relationships and I'm not ready to be committed to another one only to waste my heart away. How can I make her feel safe and still remain as me?
Thank you for reading. :)
Lately my girlfriend has been accusing me of being an attention whore, she thinks my fashion sensibilities and the way I look is asking for unnecessary attention. Honestly I feel this is coming from her own insecurities about me because she is overweight (which was never the issue for me). I feel this is completely unjustified as I have been the way I have been for as long as I've had this career (10 years). I am not sure how I can pacify her while maintaining what is essentially myself.
Also as this relationship grows longer while there are happy times, I sense an underlying fear in her. Her insecurities are being more and more apparent to me and its becoming very tiring to pacify her. Small things set her off. When I ask her if she is too tired to come over to my place she assumes that I don't want to see her. Or when I suddenly change my plans to have dinner with my family she accuses me of not telling her what's going on in my life.
On top of all that our arguments are becoming more frequent over very small minute things that just leads to old wounds and eventually she would throw the break up card at me. Whether she meant it or she was just testing me I don't know.
I understand why she would feel this way but I also think its getting out of hand. On top of that I have to swallow my pride about her strange 'friendship' with another girl which I have posted a weeks back asking for advice.
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Heal...
Now I know I sound like I am vilifying her as some crazy insecure gf but I know I fell in love with her for good reasons. She's completely different from all the other girls I dated before (my exes were all art school types or people in the alternative scene). She just seemed like that sort that was good for me and gave me the attention I needed to feel loved. And I know she's got a good head on her shoulders in that she has a goal in life and she is ambitious.
I feel rather emotionally drained and I have been contemplating leaving her even tho I do love her. Its just that I've had too many long dragged out painful relationships and I'm not ready to be committed to another one only to waste my heart away. How can I make her feel safe and still remain as me?
Thank you for reading. :)
Anyway I have been going on runs and yoga with her. I hope this helps.
It does get old after a while but I had to realize that the issue was her, not me. If you can get your partner to realize that the issue isn't really how she looks, but more alone the lines of how she thinks she looks then she can work towards changing her thought process. Ask her why she thinks she "lost her looks" and work with her towards getting them back. Also if you live her enough counseling both individually and as a couple may be in order. That's currently where my partner and I are in our relationship. We are working on getting counseling.
Hope this helps a little!! Good luck