Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
Hi you guys !! I sorry if this is long, but I really need some advice on this. Thank you for reading :)
SO .. Almost two years ago I started dating this "straight" who turned out not to be straight at all. We were very happy at the beginning but things started to drift away.
(I have to tell you some stuff from my past for you guys to understand)
The first time mother beat me up, I was six. She basically would do it and apologize and do it again and apologize again. She was this SUPER needy person and if I would choose anything over her, she would go crazy to the point of threatening to commit suicide. She sometimes used to look me in my dark room for days with two meals a day and I think you get the picture.
My ex girlfriend. She was just like my mother in many different ways, little things in her personality would remind me a lot of my mother and she would hate when I noticed those things out loud. The fact is, I couldn't have pictures of myself in bikini, or just with my belly showing for that matter, I stopped using clothes because it would show "too much of me" (tight clothes). I even got away from some friendships because of her jealousy. All that started getting into me and a few months ago I understood I didn't love her e she was no good for me. So I broke up after a lot of thinking.
But I wanted to keep our friendship, she was a very important part of my life and I didn't want to lose that. And I may confess that we, I mean I had some moments of weakness and gave into the sexual tension (I not proud of this) but I came right on track and we talked about it and decided we wouldn't do it again. And we didn't.
The thing is, she's still in love with me. And she's always mad at me because a things like "I stop answering her texts for an hour or so", "or spending to much time with other people" (I moved country for university). It's being real complicated. We spend 90% of our time "fighting" and I can't take anymore, I feel so tired .. I feel like I don't have the strength to deal with her.
And I talked with my father about this and he hold me that I should move on and tell she's not in my plans for the future. Honestly, I want to do that (I know, I seem this heartless person ..) I really do, I feel like my life would be so much better. But I also think it would be too harsh on her and I really need a second opinion you guys. What should I do?
Thank you for your time reading all this .. Thank you ! KISS
SO .. Almost two years ago I started dating this "straight" who turned out not to be straight at all. We were very happy at the beginning but things started to drift away.
(I have to tell you some stuff from my past for you guys to understand)
The first time mother beat me up, I was six. She basically would do it and apologize and do it again and apologize again. She was this SUPER needy person and if I would choose anything over her, she would go crazy to the point of threatening to commit suicide. She sometimes used to look me in my dark room for days with two meals a day and I think you get the picture.
My ex girlfriend. She was just like my mother in many different ways, little things in her personality would remind me a lot of my mother and she would hate when I noticed those things out loud. The fact is, I couldn't have pictures of myself in bikini, or just with my belly showing for that matter, I stopped using clothes because it would show "too much of me" (tight clothes). I even got away from some friendships because of her jealousy. All that started getting into me and a few months ago I understood I didn't love her e she was no good for me. So I broke up after a lot of thinking.
But I wanted to keep our friendship, she was a very important part of my life and I didn't want to lose that. And I may confess that we, I mean I had some moments of weakness and gave into the sexual tension (I not proud of this) but I came right on track and we talked about it and decided we wouldn't do it again. And we didn't.
The thing is, she's still in love with me. And she's always mad at me because a things like "I stop answering her texts for an hour or so", "or spending to much time with other people" (I moved country for university). It's being real complicated. We spend 90% of our time "fighting" and I can't take anymore, I feel so tired .. I feel like I don't have the strength to deal with her.
And I talked with my father about this and he hold me that I should move on and tell she's not in my plans for the future. Honestly, I want to do that (I know, I seem this heartless person ..) I really do, I feel like my life would be so much better. But I also think it would be too harsh on her and I really need a second opinion you guys. What should I do?
Thank you for your time reading all this .. Thank you ! KISS
I think your father is right about your moving on...and definitely tell your ex she has no place in your future. I get why you would feel bad for having to do this, however you deserve to be happy and if that's what it takes to be able to move on peacefully than so be it. Think about you and what is going to make you happy hon...not your ex. You've given her a chance and you've had your time together, there is no reason to keep hanging on to a situation that you already know you don't want. Hope I wasn't too harsh...just giving my honest opinion. Best of luck to you! :)