Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group

This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.

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Incognita 07/23/2014

Hello ladies! I had a question and figured it would be a good way to get some feedback regarding something that's been on my mind for awhile.

I am a 26 year old pansexual but do find that my sexual preference is toward women. I typically tend to be the older partner when dating someone. In the relationships I've had where I was not the older partner, I tended to be the more mature and fiscally responsible one, which made me feel like I was the older partner.

I feel that I am a lot older than I really am because of my goals in life and what I'm currently working toward accomplishing in my career, so the people I have dated younger than me tend to be more irresponsible. Because I have felt more mature and had my life more solidified that my partners, I've noticed that I feel really tired out by having to manage everything in the relationship.

So, for those of you out there who can relate to my situation or who are older in the community, would you mind sharing what your preference is when it comes to having younger or older partners? I'm coming to the point where I'm thinking I may need to try focusing on dating people that are older than me, but would like some feedback from more experienced members of the lesbian community.

Thanks!

ajr5679 07/23/2014

you are only 26. go have fun and just enjoy dating all type of people.

seemad 07/24/2014

personally for me, i like to date older women, Idk that's just me but I am in a relationship with a woman who is younger than me...but that's the age thing it's the numbers...the wave length and caring and understanding can come at any age...I have met women in age groups younger and older to be not that understanding..so the take on this is just explore...I think keep the age thought in the back of your mind...it's about understanding, accepting, learning, listening and respecting.

deleted_user 07/25/2014

I tend to date older, but as a general rule, prefer to date people who are at the same place in life that I am, or are heading in the same direction that I'm going. For example, my girlfriend is 4.5 years older than me, but when I met her, I was in college and she was about to start. I don't think age has as much to do with maturity or financial stability as it used to.
I think that rather than considering dating older, you might consider dating girls who are in the same place as you. I always thought that by dating older, I might meet someone who would be ready to settle down sooner than someone younger, but now I'm learning that that's not the case at all.
Age really is just a number, you have to dig deeper.

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