Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
Does anyone else find this so very frustrating and difficult? It feels like I should be over my ex by now but each and everytime I try to go on dates with other women it just seems like I miss her all the more. I worry this is causing me to miss out on what could potentially be at the very least great friendships and possibly a much better and healthier future romantic relationship. My relationship with my ex was not healthy by any stretch of the imagination and I know that, intellectually anyway...how does one get that through to their heart and move forward?
dazedandconfused03
There is No Miracle cure...It just Happens, it takes Time, but eventually, those Memories fade, just like those of our childhood days. Someday you will be able to look at them as a learning experience, they will be bitter sweet passing thoughts!! Trust me...this too will pass!!
deleted_user
Dazed is right ... when my previous ex and I broke up, even though it was definitely an unhealthy relationship and she even left in what I consider a cruel way (I was in the hospital due to chronic pain at the time), yet I still cried afterwards. I don't think I really missed her as much as I missed the comfort level of having been with her so long. We knew each other so well, that anytime I anything or anyone new was introduced into my life it felt awkward and uncomfortable, making me miss 'the way things were". Does that make sense to you? Is it her you really miss or the comfort of that relationship? Either way, time will help you heal ... We are here for you! :)
Dana0111
Thank you Dazed and Lives, I feel encouraged and you are both right, this shall pass, eventually. Lives, what you said about feeling comfortable after being with someone so long is exactly on target. I still have this knee jerk reaction and automatic thought process in which whenever something happens, big or small, my first thought is that I need to tell my ex, and then I remember I can't...I think that might be the hardest thing. The last time we had contact she went on a rant on the phone, yelling at me while I held the phone away from my ear. Thanks for being here for me and both of your replies have been more than helpful :)
wakan49
Maybe you need more time to heal before you start dating again. It took me 2 years to finally get over my ex. I didn't want to hurt anyone because I wasn't over my ex yet.
Dana0111
Thanks wakan, more time is definitely going to be needed. I don't know how long it will take to get over her but I do know that I'm not there yet. I think I have already made the mistake of hurting someone and I feel guilty about that, so I'm going to try to be more patient and less impulsive.
dazedandconfused03
You will hear this a lot...We are responsible for our own actions/ reactions...so, my dear friend, I wouldn't feel guilty or worry about hurting someone!! The Truth hurts...I don't know what you may have done...but, if it was the truth and you were being honest, it is something that they need to think about.
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