Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
I met a girl online, about a month or two ago and she said she was straight. After a few days she told me she liked someone and after a while of asking about this person I asked her if it was me and she said yes. So we have been gf's ever since. We talk everynight online and she always makes me so happy to talk to her even when we dont say anything. For the past four days she hasnt been online and Im worrying about her. Within the past four days that I havent spoken to her I fell deep into depression again. I am crying every night, thinking about doing things I have promised not to ever do again. I stopped doing certain other things for her. I think about her even as I sleep. I checked my voicemail today on my phone and heard a message she left me about a week ago (first time I heard her voice) and immediately like magic I smiled. I keep telling myself I dont know what love is because of a past relationship, the only other one I have ever had. I keep telling myself not to fall in love because I wont be able to see her until I convince my mom to let me drive 16 hours to see her. Do you think this is love? If it is what should I do? I dont know what has happened to her, if she is somehow mad at me, cheating on me, or just unable to get online. I dont know what to do to contact her and hear that shes still into me. Is this love?
Whether or not she is still into you, it's important not to lose who you are. This is true in any relationship. Here's one of my favorite poems that helps remind me of this - I found it at a time I felt I needed a particular person to be complete. I may not have it memorized word for word, but the basic message is there.
Two halves have little choice but to join
And, yes, they do make a whole.
But when two wholes join,
That is beauty, that is love.
- Peter McWilliams
Keep reaching out to others and take care of yourself!
As much as you care about her, it's probably best to find people in your area. Get out and you'll meet someone. You'll never stop caring for your long-distance love, that connection will always be there, and nor should you, but it will be easier with someone you can see and be around.
Good luck, hon.