Hi Charlize111, I recently joined this site and thought I'd try to help, give my perspective maybe. I'm not sure about the majority of gay men and their take on the subject, but I've found relationship-wise you will go through the same level of challenges whether it's a homo or heterosexual relationship. There are of course some areas that are a bit more challenging in a homosexual relationship, but there's nothing that should be a game changer.

As far as open relationships, its not everyone's cup of tea so there are other people that do want an exclusive relationship (i think most to be honest). I think it is quite possible to have a long term, monogamous, and fulfilling relationship no matter what your orientation is. I think trust, respect, and honesty make for a good foundation, but you should expect that no relationship will be absolute bliss all of the time. Everyone hit's a rough patch and most people don't find "the one" the first time around.

Hope I was helpful ^_^, good luck.

I have known many gay men couples who have had monogamous relationships for 20+ years! And, I've known heterosexual couples who've been together for 20-30 years, and divorced. I suspect in the next 30 years, there'll be just as many gay as there are heterosexual couples. I've also known heterosexual couples who dated in high school, married after college, and are still together and they're in the 50s. Basically, I've seen the gamut and one can never know how relationships will evolve.
Don't believe everything you read! Enjoy your life to the fullest!

Absolutely is possible Charlize...my lady and I are on our 20th year together in a 100% monogamous relationship. We have our ups and downs, no relationship is perfect. But we have always had rules such as never call names, never hit, never cheat, never emotionally hit below the belt, take a time out when your angry, etc. We try our best to treat each other with respect and understanding and support each other, despite in-laws, children, grandchildren, difficult jobs, death in the family, and now health issues. A good relationship takes work, no matter who is involved, man, woman, straight or gay.

So, do not let what you read scare you so bad. Find someone who truly loves you, lives by the rules of your relationship (I strongly suggest talking about this early into the relationship) believes in monogamy as you do and treats you with respect. We don't agree on everything, that would be impossible, but we agree about the important things.

My lady and I will never separate. She still has fears I will leave her, but I always reassure her that I will never do that. But to be fair, I did have to make ultimatums twice in our relationship due to some personal issues that I was unwilling to put up with. We worked it out in the end and although things are not perfect, we still love each other after over 20 years now.

Just be picky and find the right person for you. That's the only way it will work.

Good luck to you

I feel so much more assured after reading your replies. You are wonderful to do so. It is a little scary out here...ya' know? Thank you!

I found the woman love of my life after 3 decades in a het marriage. She is my first, and I can absolutely say that she will be my ONLY, and I am thrilled about it. The other women who have replied her have some good advice. I am sure that it possible to have a long-term, monogamous, fulfilling relationship. The key is COMMUNICATION. Even when it is uncomfortable to talk about certain things, it is essential to bring differences to the surface immediately and work them out before they become big obstacles. I hope you find your true love soon. Best of luck.

Death ened my 45 year relationship, so you see, it is possible to have a strong and lomg lasting relationship. Everything depends on your personal comittment and sense of honour. We remained completely faithful and never experienced a moment's mistrust. We lived in a way that I am proud of - I can hold my head high, and to her last day, so could she. I should mention perhaps that we did not go out of our way to mix with other gay people, but rather sought friends who were our social and intellectual equals.Their sexual orientation was never a factor. I have met idiotic lesbians as well as promiscuous heteros - neither made it to the starting post for us. Interesting, good living, kind people - they are still around today.

Barbarame, What a beautiful story. You were very lucky. You must miss her a lot. I wish, somewhere in the popular media, you know, like the l word or other shows depicting lesbian relationships, some where, a solid relationship was shown. We need a role model. I am scared. There I said it. I don't know if being lesbian has anything to do with that, there aren't very many couples that make it. But still, I have been all over the web, watching lesbian relationships, and they all depict betrayal, all of them. How I wish I could sit down with you and listen to your story. I think you have a no-nonsense view of it all. I would love to hear it. PS: is the picture her? Well, I am going to pretend it is.

Go to my profile dear, where you can look at my pictures. There you will see photos of my Jean. This one is me. It is possible to have a long term relationship if you stop worrying about Homosexual and Heterosexual. Concentrate instead on what it takes to make a solid relationship. Honesty, loyalty, give and take, allowing own space, trust, forgiveness on both sides, and good old fashioned love!