Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
I've posted here before...
About two months ago now, my girlfriend of four years broke up with me. I had a horrible time of it for the first few weeks, but I handled it vaguely well in the sense I didn't hide away & make myself feel worse. I tried to get out and I found new hobbies and such like, so you could say I've been pretty healthy about it all.
I've been non-stop going out for the past two weeks since I moved back to my home town, but it is also where my ex lives. Every time I go out I get a deep routed fear that she'll turn up. Every night, no matter how much fun I have, I cry on the bus home because it goes past her house and I want to get off it every time, and go and see her. I think about our relationship and just her as a person whenever I'm not distracted. & I can't be distracted all the time, can I?
Because of the way my friends bring out the best of me, I've felt like a new person and I've been happy, but when I come home reality hits and my heart opens up to reveal this huge hole where I lack my love. It's like I'm one person when I'm out, then at home, I become something else.
I get angry at myself for being sad and wish I'd man up. She isn't coming back and nothing will change anything so why am I moping about it?
I'm just so sick of it. I'm sick of having such huge mood swings.
How do i get her out of my mind? What can I do to centre and settle myself?
About two months ago now, my girlfriend of four years broke up with me. I had a horrible time of it for the first few weeks, but I handled it vaguely well in the sense I didn't hide away & make myself feel worse. I tried to get out and I found new hobbies and such like, so you could say I've been pretty healthy about it all.
I've been non-stop going out for the past two weeks since I moved back to my home town, but it is also where my ex lives. Every time I go out I get a deep routed fear that she'll turn up. Every night, no matter how much fun I have, I cry on the bus home because it goes past her house and I want to get off it every time, and go and see her. I think about our relationship and just her as a person whenever I'm not distracted. & I can't be distracted all the time, can I?
Because of the way my friends bring out the best of me, I've felt like a new person and I've been happy, but when I come home reality hits and my heart opens up to reveal this huge hole where I lack my love. It's like I'm one person when I'm out, then at home, I become something else.
I get angry at myself for being sad and wish I'd man up. She isn't coming back and nothing will change anything so why am I moping about it?
I'm just so sick of it. I'm sick of having such huge mood swings.
How do i get her out of my mind? What can I do to centre and settle myself?
I know how it feels Clare. You go out and have a wonderful time with friends yet when you come home you still feel empty. I hate it that I'm also going through this phase and I wouldn't want anyone I know to feel this pain.
Just keep doing the things you enjoy doing; the things that make you happy. Eventually time will pass and your wounds will gradually heal. Allow yourself to cry sometimes; it actually helps to let those emotions loose from time to time instead of keeping them cooped up inside.
Funny how I feel like talking to myself, too.. XD LOL We don't deserve being in this phase, you know, but we're the only ones that can get ourselves out. Be strong, okay? I hope this somehow helped. :)
I knew that was probably what I'd get back, but in a silly way I hoped someone would have an answer. But I guess there isn't one to these things...just time. I can be inpatient with myself at times and I need to be kinder to myself. I hadn't had a good cry for a while so I think today was needed...
I'm just going to carry on with what I'm doing. I guess that's all I can do :)
It's horrible, going through a break up and the moving on period, but I'm glad to know I'm not alone. No one is. We can all help each other & that's why I love this site.