Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group

This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.

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JulieMac21 01/11/2012

Hi! I realized last february that I was into girls. It came as quite a shock because i'm in my early 20's and thought i knew my sexuality very well. I staretd coming out to my friends and family as bisexual, but over the christmas break I decided that I was more connected to identifying as gay. I'm new to a fairly large city and i'm trying to get more involved in the LGBT community as most of my friends are straight (and even though they're all really supportive i feel like they dont know what i'm going through).

I had my first g.f over the summer and it ended really abruptly and badly. Although we're now friends, I don't think she is the best influence and doesn't treat me very well, but considering she's the only person i know who is gay and has gone through coming out, etc I feel like i can't let her go until i have another support system in place.

Are there any suggestions for lesbians out there that are a part of the LGBT community and may have some tips on how i can meet more LGBT people? I've joined my university's pride group, but i don't feel like i have a lot in common with them- i really just want to open up my options and not just hang out with LGBT people just because they're not straight.
THanks for any tips/ advice!! :)

deleted_user 01/13/2012

Hi!

Where abouts do you live? As I know it's different everywhere!

deleted_user 01/14/2012

Yo!
Horah for wanting to get involved! lol I would suggest asking some people in your LGBT group at school where some not-so-straight hot spots are in your community. Chances are that they will know, and you might get some invites (it's always easier to put yourself out there at first in a group). Keep your eyes and ears open. We are everywhere, we just like to hide under rocks sometimes it seems. If you start having trouble finding anything you can always search the internet. Look up local Pride events, bars, clubs, ect. Good luck out there!
Ash

JulieMac21 01/15/2012

thanks everyone! I live in victoria bc, which apparently is known as Canada's 'lesbian city' lol. Unfortunately it seems like they're all underground though! I did plan a pride pubcrawl back in november with my school and met some really cool people but i wasn't sure if it would be weird asking for their number's to hang out another time. Plus i'm still not really good at figuring out if other gay girls are just being nice or if they're actually into me :S

deleted_user 01/17/2012

Ah the good ole I-don't-know-if-she's-into-me-or-not scenario lol. I usually pay attention to things like eye contact and touching. A lot of eye contact and touching are generally signs somebody's into you. Try paying attention to the small things. It's always nerve wracking putting yourself out there, but what harm can asking for numbers do? You can even explain yourself by saying that you'd like some new friends to help you get involved in LGBT activities ect. And who doesn't like new friends? :) Take a chance. You might be surprised at the new people and experiences you encounter!

JulieMac21 01/17/2012

Thanks for your response! It may be that i'm still not 100% comfortable with my sexuality (I mean in public places where i may encounter harrassment or even worse, assault). I went to a pride event last weekend and met some more really cool people. I just need to keep putting myself out there and hopefully will find someone into me one day!

MsTeriLyn 01/18/2012

Regarding #5:
Julie ~ Try not to let your fears dictate how you move throughout life. The violence and hate you read about towards the gay community is really very rare and media emphasized.
I've lived 'out' for many years now; and found that the majority of good, rational people are accepting of me ~ especially when I show them *I* am accepting of me. Stand proud and strong in all areas of your life. Never let anyone make you think less of yourself.
You are totally beautiful and loved by your Creator for exactly the woman He Created.

JulieMac21 01/18/2012

thanks for your response Ms TeriLyn. I really appreciated your response! I'm currently reading a self-help book called "The Gay & Lesbian Self-Esteem Book". I'm hoping it will give me better tools to lift my self-esteem and move throughout life without fear. :)

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