Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group

This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.

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NeverOver 10/25/2008

Every so often I get the urge to cuddle up with a woman for the mere comfort of having her there. It's been to the point I have almost asked K for a cuddle day. Not that I'm choosing her but right now my circle of women I can cuddle with is very small. There's my ex there's K and there's the chick my friend is setting me up with but we haven't managed our schedules to meet yet(askin her out of the question.) My ex would be here in a heartbeat but I'd be giving her false hopes. K would be the only to understand the difference between just needing to cuddle and wanting more.
My question is what is this need? Where is it coming from? Does it come with being single or something deeper?
Anyone have any insight??

DevonB 10/25/2008

It's being alone. It's the need for human companionship. It's to feel another person near you.

Being in a relationship, I get all the cuddle time I need. I also have my two sons who will hang with me on the couch (often all over me on the couch....lol). When you are alone you don't get the incidental touching that a coupled person does.

It's totally normal. And I understand your logic in who to ask. That makes total sense. I feel for you...I know how alone I was, and desperate for that when I was.

deleted_user 10/26/2008

i agree with devonB, also i think it comes from our childhood, when we were cuddled by a parent or someone that loved us, its good 4 u, we all need a cuddle from time 2 time & do i need a cuddle from a woman!
my mum cuddles me but thats a different cuddle, i mean a lovely long smoochy hug with a the lady of my dreams, well it hasnt happened yet!

deleted_user 10/27/2008

I think we would actually die without attention and affection. It's part of what is needed to survive. It is important to be honest with the women you are with. Women can so easily take it as something else. You are so very fortunate that you have a friend that likes to cuddle too. No need or want is desperation. Desperation is an act of it's own. You can choose to be or not to be desperate. If you were cuddling with anyone and everything just because you could that act could be desperate. But, thinking it through and understanding the reprecussions.. that's genius.

suzyhopes 10/27/2008

Being single has nothing to do with it. My partner isn't a big cuddler and just about now I'm really missing it. She would if I asked, but I don't want to have to ask. ANyway. WE all need touch and companionship, freindship, it doesn't even have to be of a sexual nature for it to fill us with love. I do get a lot of cuddling from the twins.

NeverOver 10/27/2008

Thanks I feel better knowing it's not me going nuts or being overly desperate.

deleted_user 10/27/2008

Awwwwwww Neverover come sit with me.....we can sit and cry together.....We will find Good Women!!!.......liz

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