Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
So here I am again, a little worst for wear but stronger I think. I'm trying to shed the last remaining negative chains that holds me back. This pain is probably the hardest one to break.
So I got dumped recently because the girl I was trying support fell out of love with me. Partly also because I think she found a new pillar of support in a guy that was still in love with her for the last 7 years. Long story short, my ex has been kind enough keep me out of her private life outside of work (we work in the same office) but just now I chanced upon her blog entry which seems to hint that she and the new guy in her life are getting romantic.
I know it none of my business and I should embrace being a graceful loser but it just hurts. Any advice on how to deal with this at such a close proximity?
Just fyi, while I still love her I have come to accept that things should just let go.
So I got dumped recently because the girl I was trying support fell out of love with me. Partly also because I think she found a new pillar of support in a guy that was still in love with her for the last 7 years. Long story short, my ex has been kind enough keep me out of her private life outside of work (we work in the same office) but just now I chanced upon her blog entry which seems to hint that she and the new guy in her life are getting romantic.
I know it none of my business and I should embrace being a graceful loser but it just hurts. Any advice on how to deal with this at such a close proximity?
Just fyi, while I still love her I have come to accept that things should just let go.
Like me, 'chancing upon' her blog entry is not merely chance,..it doesn't magically appear on your computer. I have found my X on a google profile, with pictures of her and her wife kissing in Arizona this week. Did that just happen to 'appear' before me? LOL.. Nope...it didn't. I made the choice to seek it out. As, ..are you.
Yes. It does hurt us. But we are the individuals that make the decision to 'go there' and seek out the past. We can't move on unless we give ourselves permission to do so (sister hug). If we chose to 'look' ..we are chosing to torture our already shattered hearts. And that.. is unacceptable to my soul and yours.
As you know, I work with my X also. I am unable to change jobs due to my age and skills. So,..this is thee most difficult 'proximity' to move through with grace. It took me over 2 years to realize that unless I shut her down totally,..I could not function and move forward with simply 'me' in mind. I've done it.. I've shut her down and now.. I'm free! It's a whole different phase now, ...to realize that I was the one to shut down her request for friendship and make it 'end' entirely...for my own sake. I did this for ME...not for hope, or wishing, or wanting or the inability to accept reality.. I shut her down for Me. If she worked next to me,..my need to move on would help me tune her out..as if she didn't exist.
As it is when we feel the need to be in love,..we can feel the need not to be. Love Is a Choice.
When you're tired of the circumstance and realize the negative effect it has on your 24/7 life.. you also will do what is necessary. It's all we've got, Sister (hug)
I too had a recent break up, its not easy to move forward, especially if your feelings are really strong. But i agree with msteri, you have to decide to pull the plug. I didn't work with my partner (thank goodness), but we were all over the place together. She kept texting me now and then, draggin her feet to get all her stuff out of the house, etc. She got mad at me for some comment and blocked me on her facebook, my lucky day!! But then she kept making comments on one of my friends page, so i was still "seeing" her....so i blocked her.
Funny thing is, a week later she texted me for a damned pan that she knew damn well i didn't have. I answered the one question and nothing more. Since that time, i have felt freer of her and the hurt than i have in the previous 7 months. You have a more difficult path because of the work situation. But I tell you, the sooner you can block her from everything....the sooner the hurt begins to subside. its almost like picking at a scab, the more you open it up, the longer it takes to heal. But when you leave it alone, it heals quickly and are ready for another bo bo....
good luck
I mean I am sitting right next to her and i don't even know how I can just tell my bosses that I want to transfer out of here. I don't want to embarrass her or me.