Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group

This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.

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sweetpea222 05/26/2015

today i nearly lost my temper in a cafe over my g/f annoying habit. i have only one way i can put it,she's greedy.basically if she thinks i have more on my plate than hers she just swipes some from my plate. but today i was so annoyed we went into a cafe she ordered a chicken burger asking for large chips plus onion rings for herself i just ordered fish and chips.the meals arrived she straight away questioned the waitress over her chips asking if what she had was a large portion the waitress said yes.ok it didn't look a large portion but she had a big chicken burger and onion rings as well but just as the waitress walked away she grabbed a load of chips from my plate. no asking me or nothing. i was fuming its not like when someone just pinches a chip for a laugh this was a huge handful. it was so embarrassing as well. i was brought up with good table manners.
it's the same at home if when i'm shopping say i by ice creams or pizzas she just keeps going at them until they are all gone . i know this sounds very nit picky but she has been told by her dietitian she must eat healthy and eat smaller portions as she is obese and type 2 diabetic. so her health is at risk as well. how can i get it across to her to eat more healthy etc and stop grabbing food from my plate as it's really annoying.

darkhairedgirl1 05/26/2015

If this was an average size person, I would say this is so infuriating it is hilarious. But your gf sounds to have serious psychological issues with food. I think, based on your description, you are dealing with someone who has a compulsion and addiction. Much like a gambling or drug addict, she has no control over herself. She needs therapy because this is not something you are going to be able to reason her out of. However, in the meantime, I think you can change some things around so you don't end up swatting her like a naughty child. Maybe something like refusing to have any meals together until she seeks help. No buying food for yourself that she has access to. It's just one idea from somebody who has never been in your situation, but I might consider the complete elimination of food from our relationship and a serious intervention for professional help.

charlize111 05/27/2015

yeah, I was like in the second sentence thinking, her gf is obese and has a serious eating disorder. This isn't about having manners, this is seriously sick. She needs professional help.

sweetpea222 05/29/2015

being obese is i think down to her eating so much junk food because she is just to lazy to cook a healthy meal.when i first met her she had lived in her flat 2 years and it was littered with empty junk food boxes and pop cans all over the floor and the cooker had never been used. she was diagnosed with diabetes type 2 just after moving in with me when she changed her doctors but even knowing the risks involved and being told to eat healthier she just carries on. she thinks it's ok but she will not accept advice.also she is bi polar . her mum and aunt came out for a indian meal with us and her mum saw first hand when she ordered her main meal then all these side orders then couldn't finish her main meal. she shouldn't be eating anything with sugar in but ate 3 donuts straight off and one the next morning. everyone has warned her of the implications of this but she takes no notice.

charlize111 05/30/2015

The problem here isn't what she eats, it's that she eats...all the time, and apparently, obsessively.

Focus on the underlying problem, not the symptoms. There are some deep seated mental health problems here, and perhaps, physiological ones, say a brain lesion?

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