Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
i'll try and explain best I can. I have been with my partner for 4 years now.
some of her cousins are what I would call cadgers meaning they make out they haven't got any money so people will give them some. one particular cousin has this down to a fine art. he is living in his aunts house with his family rent free with the excuse to save up for a home of his home yet he can afford to get married next year. so he is sitting pretty both him and his wife work both run cars. my partner and I can not work due to illness.
last week we had my partners aunt stay for a few days(the aunt who is letting my partners cousin live in her house rent free) my partner took her home . I might add at this point my partners mum is giving her a car in june and she hadn't decided what she was doing with her old car she had before we met . but a few days after coming back she said her and her aunt had discussed it and she was giving this cousin her car and he was going to sell his. her car is worth about 600.
she said we had more money than him which I can't see as they are both working and get additional benefits such as child tax credits etc. but she says she had the car before she met me so its up to her what she does with it. but what hurts is she never bothered to discuss it with me but with her aunt who I would say persuaded her to give it to this cousin. ok I understand yes it is her car to do what she wants with but we are suppose to be in a relationship and discuss things.
she had always told me I was part of her family but now tells me i'm not part of the family until we marry. we have discussed marriage recently but cannot agree on things. she wants a free bar which no way could we afford just so her cousins don't have to pay for their drinks I should think. so i'm being sensible and waiting until our relationship is much more stable . but I would like to know ,how would others react to this . am I being too over sensitive as I have a mental illness which means i'm emotionally unstable so its difficult to judge if my emotions about things are justified. ty
some of her cousins are what I would call cadgers meaning they make out they haven't got any money so people will give them some. one particular cousin has this down to a fine art. he is living in his aunts house with his family rent free with the excuse to save up for a home of his home yet he can afford to get married next year. so he is sitting pretty both him and his wife work both run cars. my partner and I can not work due to illness.
last week we had my partners aunt stay for a few days(the aunt who is letting my partners cousin live in her house rent free) my partner took her home . I might add at this point my partners mum is giving her a car in june and she hadn't decided what she was doing with her old car she had before we met . but a few days after coming back she said her and her aunt had discussed it and she was giving this cousin her car and he was going to sell his. her car is worth about 600.
she said we had more money than him which I can't see as they are both working and get additional benefits such as child tax credits etc. but she says she had the car before she met me so its up to her what she does with it. but what hurts is she never bothered to discuss it with me but with her aunt who I would say persuaded her to give it to this cousin. ok I understand yes it is her car to do what she wants with but we are suppose to be in a relationship and discuss things.
she had always told me I was part of her family but now tells me i'm not part of the family until we marry. we have discussed marriage recently but cannot agree on things. she wants a free bar which no way could we afford just so her cousins don't have to pay for their drinks I should think. so i'm being sensible and waiting until our relationship is much more stable . but I would like to know ,how would others react to this . am I being too over sensitive as I have a mental illness which means i'm emotionally unstable so its difficult to judge if my emotions about things are justified. ty
Not to butt into your business, but I agree with you when you said you are waiting until your relationship is more stable. Obviously your partner needs to learn to be more communicative with you, and teamwork is something you need to build upon as well. Also the fact that she says you are not family until you marry is just silly. But, best of luck to you either way, and I hope she comes around to see why you are so upset.
If you let her walk all over you now, then this is a pattern of behavior that she will get used to, and it will not change. Better to let her know that you're not going to give into her every wish and desire then let this pattern continue and evolve into a very unhealthy relationship.