I guess it would depend on how important it is to you, that your partner spend time with you both publically & privately... the degree of 'outness' that you are comfortable with, may not match hers. Ask yourself: is this a deal breaker?

I call them deal-breakers... or imperatives that you can not or will not put up with, in a relationship.

i.e. cheating, addictions, inability to hold a job, abusive behaviour, etc. etc....

Being closeted could be another one, depending on how important it is, to you.

I know of a couple that have been together for over 10 years, one of the partners is so far in the closet, her family doesn't even know... somehow they make it work... for them.

Know of a woman, who would never date a woman in the closet... she is so far out, she even makes us long-time dykes uncomfortable at times i.e. shouting in public that she 'loves p*ssy'... wee bit embarrassing... but that is, who she is.

Anyhow, don't know if my words help at all... it sounds like you would like your partner to step up & step out with you, at least once in awhile... that is not unfair to ask of her. Although, she is at liberty to answer how she feels/thinks, which may be contrary to your wishes... negotiation in relationships is hard, my heart goes out to you... hang in there... do what is good for you.

If I were you... would start focusing on what you enjoy doing... with or without her... get back to what makes you happy, what makes your heart sing... eventually she will notice that you are not present/by her side. She will either run to keep up with you... or withdraw into her own world. Most times, they run to keep up... you seem more interesting, when you are not totally focused on them... get back to you... the caring, interesting, warm person that you are... then who wouldn't want to be there with you? Catch my drift... good luck :)

I can relate to this. I was with my partner for over twenty years. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it didn't for me. We were young when we met so I didn't really understand how those were signs of what was to come. I'm not saying this is your situation because I don't know you, but for me it came down to her priorities. I was never her priority. Her parents and friends ALWAYS came first. She would jump and do anything that they asked of her and was happy to do it. If I asked her to do something for me, she acted like it was a big chore to do it. After many discussions regarding priorities, things never changed. Not even after we had a son. So we are now going through a very painful break up. I know I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn't put me or our son first. As painful as it is, I know we both deserve better.

I hope this is not your situation. Maybe a discussion about priorities may help her see how you are feeling. I truly wish you all the best, and I hope she is able to see how important it is not to take you for granted.

Best wishes always!!