Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
I broke up with my girlfriend of four years two and a half weeks ago.
I made a post previously about it under 'break up'.
I was doing well. But things have happened since.
One of her friends decided it was appropriate to tell me they think she still loves me, and I know that isn't true. It hurt to hear that. I text my ex (we weren't speaking, to avoid hurt) to tell her to make sure her friends were straight about things, and she got really angry with the friend.
Then, last night, she text me asking if I had rebounded. I had just got my head round not speaking to her again and started to feel okay again and she goes and does this to me. We had a big argument. I told her she wasn't being fair and it wasn't her business. I became very upset and angry at her. She said she was just curious and I was so mad she'd set me back over her own curiosity.
Then, another friend told me she was meeting someone she used to like. It's my friend's ex, so she was upset by it too, and that really hurt. She left me for this person once, two years ago, and knowing how fast she's decided to see her is so painful.
It's gotten to the point at the moment where I'm feeling so down that I'm wondering if life is worth it.
I have suffered with depression and anxiety for years and the depression is creeping back in. I used to self harm too and I'm starting to have thoughts of that.
I'm so scared. I'm so sad. I don't know what to do.
I made a post previously about it under 'break up'.
I was doing well. But things have happened since.
One of her friends decided it was appropriate to tell me they think she still loves me, and I know that isn't true. It hurt to hear that. I text my ex (we weren't speaking, to avoid hurt) to tell her to make sure her friends were straight about things, and she got really angry with the friend.
Then, last night, she text me asking if I had rebounded. I had just got my head round not speaking to her again and started to feel okay again and she goes and does this to me. We had a big argument. I told her she wasn't being fair and it wasn't her business. I became very upset and angry at her. She said she was just curious and I was so mad she'd set me back over her own curiosity.
Then, another friend told me she was meeting someone she used to like. It's my friend's ex, so she was upset by it too, and that really hurt. She left me for this person once, two years ago, and knowing how fast she's decided to see her is so painful.
It's gotten to the point at the moment where I'm feeling so down that I'm wondering if life is worth it.
I have suffered with depression and anxiety for years and the depression is creeping back in. I used to self harm too and I'm starting to have thoughts of that.
I'm so scared. I'm so sad. I don't know what to do.
First off- PLEASE do not harm yourself- she is not worth that and you deserve all the best in life. I am curious if you can reach out for support on here as well as any local support. Is there someone that you trust that you can talk to? Do you have a trusted counselor that you might talk with- he/she might be a great resource during this challenging time.
As well, I think it would be really helpful to set up some parameters with your friends that you not discuss what your ex is up to. I do not think that knowing is going to help you in the slightest. As well, I would strongly encourage you to go back to no contact with your ex- AT ALL COSTS! I absolutely know how tempting it is to want to have contact (even bad/unhealthy contact) but it would help you so much more to not be in touch with her right now. Good work on not being in touch with her prior to this most recent exchange.
As well, I'm curious what helps you with your depression? Getting together with friends, listening to music, watching a funny movie? Keep active if you can! I know it's tough.
Hang in there my dear and reach out anytime- you are worth it!
Ps. Definitely unfriend her on Facebook if you haven't already done so!
I will not harm myself. I have thought about it but I'm trying very hard not to, because I know it won't help in the long run and it won't change anything. It's a coping mechanism and can be hard without it when you've stopped, but I haven't self-harmed in about a year or so.
I'm not going to contact her, no matter what. When I have her stuff ready to pick up I am just doing to ask a friend to give it to her for me.
It's addictive, even when we were arguing I didn't want to stop because it was sort of an excuse to talk to her.
Friends always help. I'm finding motivation hard at the moment and because we shared so much together I'm avoiding a lot of things like films. Same with music. This site helps me so much.
Be compassionate with your tender heart and know that time will heal.
My best,
~Moonlight