Jealousy Support Group

Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...

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/ Jealousy Support Group

Physical Insecurities

prettybird65
prettybird65
I just joined this group and this site. I am a 45 year old woman who has been told all her life that she is beautiful. In some rare instances, I feel that way, but the majority of the time I do not. I am constantly comparing myself to other women; not even women, young girls who rationally I know I could never compete with due to age alone. I am obsessive about it. I am always on "pretty female alert" when I'm with my husband. I will re-direct him in a store just to avoid having to pass her and risk him seeing her. When with my husband, I will scout a restaurant within seconds and ask to be seated somewhere where an attractive woman is not sitting. I will avoid TV shows and attending movies that feature sexy women (and most do). Example, my husband is a big Transformers fan and wants to go see Trans 3 - I refuse to see it on principal that it features sexy co-stars that exude sexuality which is flaunted on the big screen. I went with him to the last one, and the opening scene about killed me - blood pressure boiling, felt like I was going to explode out of my skin. Logically I know this is irrational. My husband is amazing and is so in love and physically attracted to me. He makes this obvious. It's me. All my life this has been my struggle, and I'm so tired of it . . .
deleted_user
deleted_user
Same situation. I'm constantly comparing myself to other women too and I'm only 20. Luckly, I have a pretty amazing boyfriend as well, but right now I'm struggleing with him going to a strip club for his friends 21st bday. I understand completely how you feel and know I'm being irrational. I hate watching TV with him when the girls are always taking their clothes off now! It feels like my heart is heavy and swollen and sinking right through my entire body when I think of my boyfriend even looking at other girls. I know its crazy, but I don't know how to change my feelings...So point of the story is you're not alone. Feel free to vent to me any time you like.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I love that line "pretty female alert" That sums it up nicely!
lets face it ALL women compare themselves to other women. And there are a huge amount of insecure women out there, other wise plastic surgery and botox and the rest of it, wouldnt be on the increase!
Actresses and actors must have confidence and self esteem, and yet..... they have surgery too! Didnt megan fox have some? Her nose?
So in transformers she may have looked hot,(and incidentally, you do realise its all airbrushed and fixed on a pc so it looks as perfect as it can look) but she certainly didnt feel hot did she? Shes just another woman trying to compete in this "all about the looks world". No average woman can compete with fakery.
Seriously, i could have wrote that post, i feel the way you do and i know others who feel that way too. Its about doing your utmost to rationalise what your feeling at the time, getting things into perspective.
prettybird65
prettybird65
Thank you for the support! It is so welcoming to hear from other women who really understand how I'm feeling. It's one thing to be aware of our irrational behaviors and have others see us as extreme, but it's quite another to feel understood. Barbie dolls should have never been invented!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
if you havnt seen it already, check this out...... This is what they are doing to us, only as children we dont see it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei6JvK0W60I
prettybird65
prettybird65
Great campaign! So despise the industry for this. It's shameful and a no wonder we're insecure. It was bad enough when I was growing up with the pretty dolls, etc. It is much harder to parent these little girls nowadays. It takes a lot more esteem building and needs to be started when their infants. Thanks for sharing this!
deleted_user
deleted_user
omg me too!!!!! i'm 42 and in the same situation. my husband and i are fitness instructors, that's where i met him - he had been with another "thing" for 30 years, they had 4 kids together but he never married her. within a year of him moving in with me, he married me - so i feel better about that, but i'm always worried that he will be looking at all these young girls or women my age who look better than i do. and he is also a chef, so i hate when he works in restaurants with bars where there will be hoochies on the prowl. ugh!!! i know i'm not unattractive, like you i've been told i'm beautiful and sweet and everything a guy would want but after lots of relationships where i was abused and cheated on (including this new marriage) i just freak out anytime he's around any other woman (especially his ex, whom he risks seeing every day at yoga). it's so frustrating and i feel threatened all the time!!!! i can never relax, always in fight or flight mode ya know?? i'm so sorry other people are feeling like this. it sucks big time!!
jojo42
jojo42
it is exhausting isn't it? I am right there and could have written this post to the T myself.