Jealousy Support Group

Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...

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/ Jealousy Support Group

New.. Stripper dilemma

calichick03
calichick03
Hi. I am new to all of this, but thought it would be the best place to let out some concerns I am having. My boyfriend has taken a trip to vegas with the boys. I have to say I was not excited about the whole situation, but I tried to be reasonable about it. Of course before he left the question of how I felt about strip clubs came up. I told him it was fine if he went and I almost expected him to, but no touching or rubbing of any kind. Well last night he decides to tell me the truth about his night before and how him and his friends went to a strip club and his friend paid for him to get a lap dance. Now all I can think is the one thing I asked him not to do was the thing he does. I just feel completly disrespected. I can give him just an ounce of credit for being honest, but I still feel no better. I am so upset I don't even want to speak to him. I am so angry and hurt I don't even know what to say to him anymore.He has known I have insecurities and I try and let him know how things make me feel and then for this to happen. Sometimes I feel maybe I am overreacting, but I can't just let it go.
deleted_user
deleted_user
How detailed a description did you get? In my admittedly limited experience, there is no touching allowed during a lap dance. Maybe Vegas is different.

Could you agree to forgive him this indiscretion if he agreed that strip clubs were off limits from now on?
deleted_user
deleted_user
In Canada there's no touching. In the states I got a (very detailed) description from an ex about how in the states they are very big on touching! Ugh. It's sick.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry, I am not cool with my man going yo strip clubs. I wouldn't do it to him. That's just putting a starving kid in a candy store. i don't care if i sound unreasonable, I don't think its right.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would have to say kudos to you for allowing him to hit the strip clubs in the first place. Alot of women I know would not allow their partners to go into those establishments. I think you should give him some credit though for being honest about it chances are he just got caught up in the heat of the moment and the pressure he was probably experiencing from his guy friends to get the lap dance. Chances are if you guys have sat down and had a calm,rational,adult conversation about this then he probably realises by now he made a mistake and is regretting whatever hurt he has caused you. People make mistakes...learning from them and not repeating them is what is important :-)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well I think it was wayy............. well the fact that you agreed? wow! cos I know that wud be out of the question for me. I just think that if a dude goes to those places well he "aint for me"
Im sorry this happened to you and I totally get ur anger. You shud let it go tho......... he told you........
personally i think that guys shud know what if feels like... so why dont you rub up on a dude... or hey give some dude some closeness.... sees if your bf is kool wit dat?