Jealousy Support Group

Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...

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/ Jealousy Support Group

Jealous of his job

BraylensMommy2013
BraylensMommy2013
Hello, I have been with my husband for a year and 8 months and we have been married for a year and 3 months. We got married when I was 5 months pregnant with our son and I got pregnant after a month of being together... Now that u know all that... I want advice because I have always been a jealous person since I pretty much had bad relationships and have had a bad childhood. My problem is I get so jealous because he works at a roofing company and it's owned by my aunt and uncle but we aren't that close anyways and in the office females work there and young ones. There was this one girl the only young one who always flirted with everyone who my husband claimed he never paid attention to he said he's there's to work only and isn't in the office only when he needs to be. She would try to say hi to him and have convo but she's not there anymore so now no one is besides an older lady but I believe my aunt just hired a new receptionist and haven't met her yet but I get so jealous and upset when I find out he's at the office because I don't know what females are there whether it's 1 or 2 or what and he has a meeting on Tuesday so he will be in the office with all the guy workers and the people who work in the office. I don't know if the new receptionist they hired will be there or not and I get overworked and upset. I try to keep it to myself cuz my husband says I get mad at the dumbest things. I am not sure what to do ? It like takes over my mind! Any advice is we'll appreciTed !!
Empathy66
Empathy66
Cute baby : ) Its hard feeling attractive when up to your neck in all things mumsy, so i can understand why your feeling insecure and thinking about those women in the office. The thing is... rationally, he's going to meet women in shops, in a bar, etc etc, wherever he goes, there's women everywhere. Why are these women more of a threat to you do you think?
Apart from being Mum have you got other things in your life that take up your time. Meet friends, a hobby, a little job, i'm just trying to say that the more you have going on in your own life, the less focus will be placed on what he's up to at the office. Being a full time mum you can end up with too much time to think. Its easier to look outwards rather than to look inwards and focus on you and where you are in life. Start thinking about you and what you need : )
BraylensMommy2013
BraylensMommy2013
He doesn't go to bars . He doesn't have time to do that really he works everyday during the week so on the weekend he spends with me and our son wherever that is at home or at his families . Your right there is women everywhere like at stores and stuff but at the office he would have to see them everyday and even in meetings so I get real worried u know I know so many people who have had affairs with people working at their job. I just get jealous thinking of him being around one of them or engaging in conversation. Then again I feel insecure about myself plus I guess I am resentful since I'm home with our son 24/7 and wish I was working. But it's something I have to deal with on my own not to mention I lost all my girlfriends so I feel alone. Thanks for your input !
Empathy66
Empathy66
its true a lot of affairs start at the office or a place of work, but affairs start because there is something wrong in a relationship.
So you dont work and dont have friends, i used to be in that situation and i felt incredibly isolated and lonely. Would you say that you feel threatened by his work relationships, because when he comes home you dont feel you have much to offer in the way of a conversation, because all youve been up to all day is looking after the baby?
I dont know what you have in America but we have mother and baby groups, places where you go to meet other mums and chat. Also things like at the sport centre where you can take your baby for a swim and splash play with other baby's and mums.
I'm just thinking.. you might want to look into what you have locally to you, look online, see what you could get yourself involved in to get out and about ,meet other mums, socialise a bit.
When he comes home from work, youve got something to talk about, you will feel better in yourself, and you wont be feeling like youve got nothing to contribute.
CrossingtheBorder
CrossingtheBorder
If he's coming home after work and on weekends then you probably don't have anything to worry about. I would start worrying when he starts giving the, "I need to stay late at work" excuse. Although some men have their cheating so fine tuned that they make sure to only do it early mornings before work or on their lunch breaks. But that's usually the older married business men who've been with their wives for 10-20 yrs.
flyinangel661
flyinangel661
I feel sorry for the situation.One thing that helps me is counting my blessings and being grateful.
It sounds like there is a lot of commitment there. I don't see threats. BUt I understand because I have been (am ) that way a lot too...
Maybe trust him on what he says...and then pturn it over to God/Higher Power.
I also suggest joining a group, maybe going to a 12 step meeting.
It helps me to turn a situation over to God and let God take care of it.
It helps.
jessaheart
jessaheart
He gave you no reason to mistrust him but I understand the irrational jealousy. I was that way too with my ex because he worked in an office of beautiful women around our age. I looked them all up on facebook to see how pretty they were. It was horrible. There was no reason to not trust him...it was my own insecurity issues...but it wore away at our relationship. Trust me when I say to do your best to think realistically. People can't help but notice that someone else is attractive but it doesn't mean they want to flirt or sleep with the person. Keep in mind that he chose YOU because you're the whole package. He wouldn't have married you otherwise.
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