Did you make a typo and meant to say that when your in a relationship with a man, you dont flirt anymore, make comments etc about other men?
Ogle other women? If you mean notice other women as i'm on red alert for the enemy in jealousy mode, yes i do notice other women all the time and its bloody annoying, thats half the problem, i notice other women more than i notice other men!

No what I meant was this. I have a high standards for myself on a daily basis anyway. I was married for 23 years and divorced for 2. I am now dating a wonderful man and so my standards are to not look at another man lustfully, not flirt, not desire another man. I guess I expect my standards for respect in this manner to be his (others) and at the beginning they were not. He has improved a lot! For me it is just common sense to not do these things to each other. I would NEVER stare at another man especially in his company. I don't feel hugely jealous but I do keep an eye out for pretty women when we are together. The very very very odd thing is he is soooooooooooo not jealous at all....oh my word no. He could care less and told me so. So we kind of have the extreme ends on this.

I understand, you treat the person your with respectfully and you expect the same in return. At the beginning of every relationship we learn what the other person will tolerate and wont tolerate. We all have a set of different standards, so for each relationship its different. His previous wife/ gf may not have cared if he flirted right there in front of him. Your different, he will learn that and has learnt that by the sound of it.
Good for you! There's nothing wrong in saying "Hey, i dont appreciate the way your looking at other women like that!" Just as long you dont get too bogged down watching his every move, like i have!
I dont believe for a second that he has never in his life felt threatened or a little bit insecure. We all have the jealousy emotion, its just that it varies on the person and their circumstances, how they deal with or dont deal with. If he walked in a room where a party was going on and found you dancing with a guy (not grinding) he may think its so nice your having a good time. But you cant tell me that if he walked in on you with your face in some guys lap giving head that he wouldnt feel jealous! There's rational jealousy and irrational jealousy.

Oh he wouldn't go for that! LOL! But ya I can wear what I want doesn't matter how much leg or cleavage, I can talk to who I want, I can facebook who I want. One day we were at his home and I had on a white tank top and he asked me why I still had a bra on.....I said you don't care if I walk out there naked do you? This isn't an arguement but we just talking and joking around....and he nope...I don't care. He theory is if he get jealous what good does it do? You are going to do what you are going to do regardless of if I am jealous or not. He ex wife had an affair 20 years ago and all he did was find the guy and asked him why and left. No fists, no cross words no nothing. Not much get him in a flap. SOOOOO not my ex. He was over the top jealous. A man even looked my way I was in trouble...even though he wanted me to look like a barbie doll. I am in pretty good shape for being 45.

I guess I just wonder where the common sense in people are at sometimes. If I catch a guy looking and he is with a women....he will get a nasty look and an eye roll from me. It is just rude and in my mind very childish....lack of self control. Am I very strick with myself? Yes. Yes. Yes. And not just in this area am I a disciplined person. I don't want for one minute for him to feel that sicking pain when your eyes stray to another. I hate the feeling and I would never want anyone else to feel that.

Am I rambling or making sense? So am I a jealous person or just use common sense? LOL!! I don't know sometimes!

jojo I have to agree with you, it should be common sense, also respect for the relationship. I know my hubby says he doesn't care, he isn't jealous, but if it come right down to it, he would be. He just doesn't show it. I know hubby looks and even talks to other women, and with him had an A before, that is a big problem in our marriage.... Me being jealous.......

mmm, probable not total jealousy, more likely you have a clear set idea in your mind of what you see as ok and defo not ok! Nothing wrong with your high set of morals / standards, shame some pple dont have any morals at all if you ask me.

So youve gone from a guy who was jealous to a guy who isnt, total opposites. So i'm wondering... does it make you feel less loved, less cared for? It almost sounds you want him to say "Are you really going out in that"
Good for him after his wifes affair, most of us after that happening to us would be as insecure and jealous and mistrusting.

What good does jealousy do? Well actually it worked in my favour to a certain degree. lol

ladyrose......after having an affair he gets what he gets from you and he has to own that. He can't possibly get upset if you have jealous moments. He has to own the fact he screwed up and will more than likey feel the results of that for years. Shame on him.

Emerald...It has been very strange and ya it does feel foreign and almost like he doesn't care. I think that is my own insecurities and I know he deeply cares about me. We get along sooooo well.

In a relationship it should be understood and mad CLEAR what is NOT acceptable behavior.

I don't understand why men do the things they do esp.
when they are in a relationship.