Yesterday we went to my best friends (note: her husband and my husband are pretty good friends too) and he brought all his guns to go shooting with the guys. Before everyone else showed up she asked him if he could teach her to shoot. This brought up a little twinge in me just because I knew they would be interacting closely. He and I had gone shooting on Christmas and I'm not good at it at all and act like a little pansy which I'm sure does not turn him on at all. His ex was an avid shooter and he of course loves movies with shooting and badass ladies in them. So I feared she was going to be a more fun shooting partner because she is a more fun person in general in my opinion so I figure he thinks so too.
Anyway they were gonna wait for the others but for some reason i just kept pushing for them to go together (just to get it over with). Even though I didn't want them to go off together alone, I was encouraging it. Doesn't really make sense, I know. Plus I would have to watch her baby and mine so I was like "Just go now and do it, jesus" And they did and I could see them and sort of hear them but was feeling the jealousy simmering in me. And especially when I could hear her laugh since I knew they were having fun.
Then her husband went out there with them for a little while and it made me feel a little better. When they came back and everyone else had arrived he asked me if I wanted to go and I think they could both tell i was a little butthurt about it all but i just said "no, it's okay i have my girlfriends here now" and played it off like i didn't care.
I know with all my rambling thoughts on it, it doesn't sound like i've changed much, but the fact that i didn't dwell on it or let it ruin mine or anyone else night was a really big step foward. :)