Jealousy Support Group
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...
My jealousy with my partner(s) has always been one thing but with my friends it's a whole other story. It's something that I feel I've had to work even harder at to hide because after all, they're "my girls", my confidants and supporters. The ones who were there for me when I was crying because of my husbands flirting, etc. They're my friends so they're usually not doing things out of spite and there are no screaming matches or nasty name calling flying about...so I always find this deeper shame when Im feeling jealousy toward them or their lives. But I suppose it's a bit normal.
Anyways the story is, when I first became a mom I found other mom friends and there were a couple in particular that I consider (and still consider) my besties.
Well years later we all live separate lives in different cities/states but we all keep in touch. They both went through divorces and all kinds of life changes that stemmed from that. They both work and both found their way to being promoted to Office Managers at their separate jobs, one just happened recently the other had been in that position for awhile. Now don't get me wrong....I am elated for them and their success. They are beautiful, wonderful people who have been through terrible times and they deserve nothing but happiness and fulfillment.
I like to think of myself as a "recovering jealous individual" lol because I don't think it runs my life like it used to. But after hearing about my friends recent promotion it just crept up on me like a silent stalker in the night. Did I ever envision myself as a successful business woman? I guess not really....so I don't even know why I'm feeling this way. I suppose it's just that I see it as their progression as human beings, that they've found a way to become more meaningful in the world. They are not just mothers but service-providers to their communities and money-providers to their families. Yes, I realize that my job as a stay-at-home-mom has plenty of meaning and that I should feel very thankful because I have an opportunity that many do not....and I do, I know I'm lucky. That's where the guilt sets in, one of the worst parts of jealousy, for me. Knowing that these ill thoughts I'm having toward those that I care about is extremely unfair.
I think the fact that I struggle being a mom and have needed so much help coping because of my depression issues etc, just makes me feel like a failure on so many levels. I can't even seem to do the job of a mother successfully let alone another job on top of that!
Well, thanks for listening to my pity party. Reading this back to myself really makes it all seem so ridiculous. I know I now need to focus on what I have right before me and the abundance in my own life.
Anyways the story is, when I first became a mom I found other mom friends and there were a couple in particular that I consider (and still consider) my besties.
Well years later we all live separate lives in different cities/states but we all keep in touch. They both went through divorces and all kinds of life changes that stemmed from that. They both work and both found their way to being promoted to Office Managers at their separate jobs, one just happened recently the other had been in that position for awhile. Now don't get me wrong....I am elated for them and their success. They are beautiful, wonderful people who have been through terrible times and they deserve nothing but happiness and fulfillment.
I like to think of myself as a "recovering jealous individual" lol because I don't think it runs my life like it used to. But after hearing about my friends recent promotion it just crept up on me like a silent stalker in the night. Did I ever envision myself as a successful business woman? I guess not really....so I don't even know why I'm feeling this way. I suppose it's just that I see it as their progression as human beings, that they've found a way to become more meaningful in the world. They are not just mothers but service-providers to their communities and money-providers to their families. Yes, I realize that my job as a stay-at-home-mom has plenty of meaning and that I should feel very thankful because I have an opportunity that many do not....and I do, I know I'm lucky. That's where the guilt sets in, one of the worst parts of jealousy, for me. Knowing that these ill thoughts I'm having toward those that I care about is extremely unfair.
I think the fact that I struggle being a mom and have needed so much help coping because of my depression issues etc, just makes me feel like a failure on so many levels. I can't even seem to do the job of a mother successfully let alone another job on top of that!
Well, thanks for listening to my pity party. Reading this back to myself really makes it all seem so ridiculous. I know I now need to focus on what I have right before me and the abundance in my own life.
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88FWhat I do like is early morning clouds and then they disappear and the sun comes out. That was it's cooler in the morning. I'm sitting here looking out the window at the hummingbird with the river and dike as a back drop. It's hard to invision ever leaving but I'm also a realist with aging, especially when the luncheon we had with thirty former classmates on Monday. Sandra, we get news of...
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89FToday it is again another hot day but cooler then yesterday. Since this is August it is to be expected in my neck of the woods. All the grass is yellow and flowers are starting to go to seed. I need to water my garden but this time of the year I'm so over it, which is weird because all my plants have their fruit or veggies.Sandra, this time of year reminds me of your Dad and his toms. We'd...
I also was a stay at home mum so i know how difficult job was! I used to look in awe at the other mums down the school and wonder where they got the time to apply their make up and make themselves look good..?! And i only had 1 child lol.
Being at home with children is incredibly rewarding, but at the same time does have its problems, depression being one of them and feeling a failure is not uncommon.
I urge you if at all possible to consider working part time, even if you only do a couple of days a week, just to get that mix of being YOU in an adult environment and being mum.
I know you think you wouldn't handle it, but you would be surprised at how even doing a little bit can make you feel "useful"
Or another option is doing a little volunteering in a charity shop or similar. That option made me feel so much better and good about myself, plus it helped me on my way to my part time job.
None of what you said sounded ridiculous, it all sounded perfectly normal to me! There are pple living in poverty and in fear of their lives, and we can be grateful for what we have, but that doesnt stop us looking at others from time to time, where the grass looks much greener, and then feeling guilty and feeling unfair, thats just human nature and being what we are. It doesnt make you a bad person, it makes you the same as everyone else!
I hear what you're saying about working. I've often thought about that myself. I may even bring it up to my husband tonight. The only issue that brings to attention is child-card and how to work that out but where there's a wiki there's a way, right? :)