My advice...pick your fights. This sounds like just a "man" thing, something they do to deas the stress of the work day....harmless and nothing to worry about.
My man also is very "gregarious", but I have gotten used to his hugs and so forth with friends....after all, I am the one he comes home to each night.
Just breathe, and you'll be fine!

I don't think you should worry. If he has improved around you that shows he cares what you think, also says he's listening to you which is a very good thing. This is coming from a very jealous person, I don't think he means anything by it when he looks at pictures and stuff with his buddies. I agree with peggsu2 that it just seems like a "man thing". You talk so highly of him...don't let something petty get in the way. Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear but I do hope you feel better.

It's a guy thing. Not that it is attractive but my boyfriend has told me many times "you wouldn't believe what pigs men are when there are no women around" They talk foul, like the immature imbiciles they are cower when their wives call and order them home with a shopping list along the way. Neanderthols, all of them. He works there and wants or needs to fit and have a laugh. in but it has no bering on you. I can see that it would annoy you but let it slide if he is otherwise Mr. wonderful. guys have been like this since the beginning of time. It means nothing relative to what you two have now.

But I don't do these things and I have opportunities to do so. I chose to be in control of myself. I also wouldn't do it because I would never want him to feel any less of himself by me thinking someone is so hot I can't turn away. It just takes the wind out of my sails. It is a man thing but I feel that is a poor excuse. I will do what you all are telling me too because it is obvious what I should be doing but in the same note it isn't right. I would never ever do that to another person. Do I notice nice looking men. Yep. Do i gawk or stare or make comments or think if them in bed? NO WAY. I feel you have crossed the line.

Men are pigs. I'm not trying to be mean when I say it, most of them will even tell you so. I know a man who has been married well over half his life and just the other day he really needed someone to talk to so he came to me.
He told me that his wife was friends with another guy and it bothered him because he doesn't think men and women can be friends. He told me he doesn't befriend other women because he loves this woman but knows that if someone else were to come onto him he would think with the wrong head. So he looks at internet porn and such to keep things alive with the only woman his "head with the real brain in it" wants to be with.
I'm not telling you what he's doing is right but maybe he has kind of the same thoughts? Maybe after all those years of being single this is his strange way of being with only you...ya know?

Wow i wonder why are the members who are replying in a jealousy forum, they don't sound jealous at all.

I would feel the same way to do.
Yes it is a man thing and the more women put up with it excusing them.
The more they'll do it.

I would keep talking to him and is either you or he stops it.end of story.

Well I can't answer for everyone but for myself I don't like that I'm jealous so I'm trying to change it. That's why I'm trying not to sound jealous.
And when I get jealous I try to decide if it's something worth fighting about and if it's not something that someone else would think of as worth it then I try to just stay calm about it.
There are things worth being jealous over but not very much. I'm really trying and I would think that's why others are here too.

helpwanted1909 and peggsu2, I like your answers, so don't listen to anyone who says
'Wow i wonder why are the members who are replying in a jealousy forum, they don't sound jealous at all'

We need people like you both to post here, because clearly we have all been through the same things, but you have found a better way of coping, something that works for you. If all of us who posted here were as jealous as we are, than none of us would learn anything from each other.

I can't speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself in saying that I am here to learn how to cope with my insecurities and jealousy. I want to hear from people who have different ideas and strategies.

Keep posting ladies, I really enjoy reading what you have to say.

jojo42, I completely understand where you are coming from, and in a perfect world men would just stop doing things that hurt us. But they don't think like us, and we can't control them. There are some men who will stop doing things that you don't want them to do - but they are few and far between...and I'm not exactly convinced that they actually stop. I think they just stop getting caught. Sometimes I wonder if I was just meant to be single since I have so many issues with seemingly 'normal' behavior. But you do have to pick your battles, and weight the pros and cons. I promise you that I understand - I have a pit in my stomach as I type because I do know how hurtful it is. But we can't change them. Men have been looking at images/porn/magazines for as long as they have been around. It sucks, but it's reality.

I'm sorry I couldn't be more help :(

Well everyone has their own oppinions on things. I disagree with most of ya on this one. If you love someone you shouldnt be willing to gawk at others, thats just what i think. I for one don't gawk at other guys, i'm just not interested cause theres only one person i want and thats the person that I love. If i was in your situation I'd deffinetly keep talking to him. If him doing that hurts you then it's wrong. But It's your life. Listen to your heart and what you want and think is right. Goodluck!

it may be that lust is a stronghold in his life. and only he can deal with that with God. if you cannot handle being in a relationship with someone that will always deal with looking at other women, then you may need to consider that.

You say that he's the best fit for you, but obviously he's not. You've already been treated like crap by a guy - so why pick another one who doesn't ultimately respect women? He may be a work in progress, but I think you need someone who's already figured it out. You are starting a new life, don't bring along the same old hurts - you are also in a bad situation that you work in the same company, so you get to find out all the stupid stuff that stupid men do when they are free to me their stupid selves (you can tell I'm in a bad mood today :/ )

hello all. i'm aydas and i'm jealous! :D
thanks jojo42 and the others for this post. so much to read here. it's great to see that some are actually finding solutions