Jealousy Support Group
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...
hubby needs to go to aa meetings.
I feel uncomfortable letting him go to those which are mixed and have women in them.
Right now I really need to let him go to his meetings comfortably as there are only few mens meetings. The situation in the relationship makes me feel insecure anyways. That added to the potential of being able to go to some anonymous meetings where I can never go or meet anyone and him being able to share with some people (including women) who might be there regularly and share too and having some potential attractions, validation or finding an easy way 'out', temptation or escapism etc...frighten me. The chances of something developing in a daily meeting where I am not part of it or can be part of it, and anonymous so he can't really share very much what goes on there etc make it harder for me to let go. That given the fact that he does not seem to feel very comfortable opening up to me or including me into his thoughts/emotional sphere and being a private person make me feel MORE insecure about women who get to know more about him and hear him out. He is generally shy and withdrawn but loves me a lot. Kindly advise.
I feel uncomfortable letting him go to those which are mixed and have women in them.
Right now I really need to let him go to his meetings comfortably as there are only few mens meetings. The situation in the relationship makes me feel insecure anyways. That added to the potential of being able to go to some anonymous meetings where I can never go or meet anyone and him being able to share with some people (including women) who might be there regularly and share too and having some potential attractions, validation or finding an easy way 'out', temptation or escapism etc...frighten me. The chances of something developing in a daily meeting where I am not part of it or can be part of it, and anonymous so he can't really share very much what goes on there etc make it harder for me to let go. That given the fact that he does not seem to feel very comfortable opening up to me or including me into his thoughts/emotional sphere and being a private person make me feel MORE insecure about women who get to know more about him and hear him out. He is generally shy and withdrawn but loves me a lot. Kindly advise.
Well I have been meaning to post...bee too busy. Yes, I have been going to the Open AA meetings almost everyday, one alanon meeting and a coda meeting each wekk and it has been helping me greatly.
Hubby has been going to a meeting too. W figured we would go to separate meetings and he would take me to his once-a-week. I also accepted the holding hands thing, although he said he wont stay for that in the first week. Well, he found one that is easy enough to go to where there is no holding of hands (he found it of his own accord) and its a group that does not make me feel uncomfortable 9again just an added benefit or a divine help, I did not insist on which one he goes to).
As for me, as I will post on the forum elsewhere, I started, with the help of another person with a similar issue, to go on a jealousy sobriety. It is now my 12th day of refraining from asking any questions, snooping or any such behaviours!! I still have much fear and jealous feelings. But I am not acting them out. I have an occasional depression like yesterday in public we were out and I had a major trigger taht depressed me( but I did not ask. so I wold take help from the forum and try to keep up with my jealousy sobriety and healing!:0
Today I let go...I let go and husband is free to go to any AA meeting anywhere...whether there are young old white brown people hold hands or not...
I wish for him to have God's love in his heart and Gods words.
Thanks
Amen