Jealousy Support Group
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...
Please do not misconstrude this as an attack, but it is starting to get to me when I see it written in so many posts. I'm also going to open up on this that I am bisexual and I've been with both sexes...so please don't stand there and be like "You don't know what it's like", in many ways I do have an understanding.
I'm gonna say this straight out. Why is this always such a big deal? I realize that it has a bit to do with the fact that he's valuing women on some sort of video over having sex with you. that's not the truth, but quite opposing. I watch porn now and then, just about all men do. Sometimes getting a quick one off is easier because we'd really like the release.
Yes, it's amazing that you're making sex available to him and obviously your sex life is quite active with him. That's awesome and kudos to you. But who's to say that while he's away from you at some point he gets the urge and decides he wants to be rid of it instead of simply supressing it for later.
I'm sorry but this is a big pet peeve of mine and obviously it's a very large issue with so many people so this needs to be said. It's not that he's trying to replace you, it's not that he finds your sex life or you boring, it's simply the fact that he's horny. These people on the video are not his new sexual targets. And it's not an addiction to want to watch porn now and then.
I try to compare it to this. I have issues with marijuana, I hate the stuff and believe that it should be destroyed and nobody should EVER use it for anything. Many people will argue with me. My current girlfriend smokes pot once every year or so. I've tried to not let this be an issue cause in all honesty, it's something she enjoys. She's not using it to intentionally harm me or to replace me or whatever else. it's simply she likes to have that high. I'm sure many people here could easily stand here and say "Man, it's just weed.". Well it's just porn, it's about masturbating, doesn't really have anything to do with you and it's not to try and hurt you.
Masturbation is something that is fun and many women do it as well. If you haven't, then in alot of ways you're missing out on things that you could actually enjoy and you'll never know because you haven't explored that yet. And yes it can be used to get rid of the work of sex. It puts alot of strain on us to have sex (whether you're either sex), the movements and positions and angles...they all simply go together. I have a hard time orgasming from being the bottom participant. Why? Because the angles feel off.
This goes for the same thing with men who have problems with their girlfriends using sex toys. I'm sorry, but that's about as ridiculous as being jealous of porn. They're using something that was created to get people off. And what's insane about the entire thing is that both can really add some spice to your sex life if you took the time to get past this view of them being these horrible things.
Now I will say this for all of you, to kinda go to bat on your own side. When it seems that these things are being used regularly to replace intercourse. Where they haven't touched you in weeks or would rather just use the porn/toy to get off rather then have intercourse with you...there's a problem. That's where there's a lack of attraction or an addiction happening. Not if every couple of months they're deciding to use it to get off quickly, i'm sorry but it's sex not a fix.
I'm gonna say this straight out. Why is this always such a big deal? I realize that it has a bit to do with the fact that he's valuing women on some sort of video over having sex with you. that's not the truth, but quite opposing. I watch porn now and then, just about all men do. Sometimes getting a quick one off is easier because we'd really like the release.
Yes, it's amazing that you're making sex available to him and obviously your sex life is quite active with him. That's awesome and kudos to you. But who's to say that while he's away from you at some point he gets the urge and decides he wants to be rid of it instead of simply supressing it for later.
I'm sorry but this is a big pet peeve of mine and obviously it's a very large issue with so many people so this needs to be said. It's not that he's trying to replace you, it's not that he finds your sex life or you boring, it's simply the fact that he's horny. These people on the video are not his new sexual targets. And it's not an addiction to want to watch porn now and then.
I try to compare it to this. I have issues with marijuana, I hate the stuff and believe that it should be destroyed and nobody should EVER use it for anything. Many people will argue with me. My current girlfriend smokes pot once every year or so. I've tried to not let this be an issue cause in all honesty, it's something she enjoys. She's not using it to intentionally harm me or to replace me or whatever else. it's simply she likes to have that high. I'm sure many people here could easily stand here and say "Man, it's just weed.". Well it's just porn, it's about masturbating, doesn't really have anything to do with you and it's not to try and hurt you.
Masturbation is something that is fun and many women do it as well. If you haven't, then in alot of ways you're missing out on things that you could actually enjoy and you'll never know because you haven't explored that yet. And yes it can be used to get rid of the work of sex. It puts alot of strain on us to have sex (whether you're either sex), the movements and positions and angles...they all simply go together. I have a hard time orgasming from being the bottom participant. Why? Because the angles feel off.
This goes for the same thing with men who have problems with their girlfriends using sex toys. I'm sorry, but that's about as ridiculous as being jealous of porn. They're using something that was created to get people off. And what's insane about the entire thing is that both can really add some spice to your sex life if you took the time to get past this view of them being these horrible things.
Now I will say this for all of you, to kinda go to bat on your own side. When it seems that these things are being used regularly to replace intercourse. Where they haven't touched you in weeks or would rather just use the porn/toy to get off rather then have intercourse with you...there's a problem. That's where there's a lack of attraction or an addiction happening. Not if every couple of months they're deciding to use it to get off quickly, i'm sorry but it's sex not a fix.
so how do you delete posts on here?
i have one i want to delete and its like impossible or something.
I'm going to bet that a majority of you who are saying that porn stars are whores and why does he need to look at women in these pornos or naked pictures are very jealous of strippers as well. PLEASE NOTE: I said majority, not all. Before one of you rips my throat out because of words that you put into my mouth. I happen to be friends with a good amount of strippers. Some chose it as a career, but most are working it cause it puts them through school and such. NOT all, but alot of them are. It's sad that most of them will see that the course they are studying for will never pay them half as much as a stripping career and they'll keep themselves into that lime light. Now even though i have alot of friends who are strippers. I myself rarely go, in fact I'm 23 now and since I turned 19 I've been to three strip clubs one time for each. One here in my hometown, another where I was going to college, and the third up North with a few friends of mine. I myself, don't find the appeal of it. But again, when I'm invited by the guys, I tell my girlfriend I'm going and she's very understanding as long as there is no touching. I myself agree with that rule because honestly, they're there to look at. I still find my girlfriend much more attractive then any of these women and I love her the same amount and in all honesty, I would rather have sex with her then any one from these strippers. IN MY OPINION, porn stars are the same thing. Sure some of them are attractive, but they've chosen to make a career off of having sex with OTHER PORN STARS. They are the same as actors IN MY EYES. I also know a few people who are amateurs in the adult industry, and they quickly fall out. Fact that you're calling them whores, kind of offends me because of two reasons. It's their career and I share a kindling with them because I'm a pro wrestler...I get paid to slam people around, so does that make me an assaulter or a portrayer of violence. I don't believe so simply for the fact that I get paid to make it look like as real of a fight as possible, and because in person I don't fight or run up to people and start beating on them. I can distinguish reality from fiction. Second reason, you're calling them whores for sleeping with a large amount of people. I myself have slept with 24 people in my life...does that make me a bad person? NO! Does that mean I'm more likely to cheat on my girlfriend? NUH-UH! It does however give me a different view on sex, which is something you want me to understand about you, but you're not willing to give me the same in return.
So from here on out on this thread, I give respect to those who respect me back. You disrespect me, expect it back.
IF you're going to attack at me about past posts. I haven't made many here outside of this thread. I've stated that I had issues with alcohol and marijuana. One because I was raped when I was young. The other simply because i've lost too much to a plant. Those issues reflect on my own lifestyle. I'm a bisexual straightedge male. Hard to live like that in a world that revolves around the indulgences of substances and addiction. Frankly, a large dick male getting my girlfriend to orgasm just from the sight wouldn't irritate me that much because frankly I trust her to not go after this person and because i know her and how she is with sex and personality and the connection she has to feel to sleep with someone, I feel no threat in that. This is where you all seem to miss the point of this group. It's to help each other get over this jealousy and work out issues. I've agreed there are issues to be had with porn, strippers and such. But some of you describe things that simply are NORMAL male behaviour. And those who do side up with you feel the same way, that's great, support each other, but do not tear down those who speak for the other side, for the other opinion. As someone said a little while back, it's nice to hear a male voice. I've noticed that in the small time I've been here, not many men who sit here and I'm begining to see why.
I'm going to point out something within this as well. Allowing yourself support that you're not the only one feeling this way is great. And many of you are seeking to get out of this jealous mood because it's shown in your posts and you see what it does to your relationship, but a good percentage of you lose track of why you even posted your problem in the first place when there are three people who feel the exact same way you do. I'm sorry but if you keep feeling this miserable because of porn and such, then maybe you should truly think about if this is something you really want to live with for the rest of your life. We as men make the same amount of sacrifices you do for our relationships, and if we don't then there's a problem. A few things you could do to see if you're really sitting in something that's so harmful is look at the pros and cons, the good and the bad, and the compromises and sacrifices you've made and see which side is fairer.
I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm sick of being cornered for the fact that I have an opinion.
BUT, PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS, if something one partner in a relationship does upsets the other partner in the relationship to the point that it torments them, causes depression, causes self harm or any other extreme bad reaction then , out of love and respect that persons behaviour (in this case porn watching) should cease! How can some partners justify watching porn when they know that it will cause suicidal thought in their partner? This is a very touchy subject for many on this forum! In all your justification of porn watching can you justify a man watching it if his partner is going to be caused extreme distress? If your girlfriend said that you watching it made her want to cut herself or had her crying for hour after hour would you still do it?
Also wanted to point out that our feelings arent our choice! Many ppl have the same views as me and they dont suffer jealousy issues elsewhere, but many of us have jealousy to the extreme and our lives are constant pain and anxiety. When you knew how strong the feelings were on here to such a subject you should have thought about the effect your words could have on some ppl, we are all here to get support, not to be attacked for the very thing that is making our lives unlivable already!
Your reaction is totally normal from what ive read about "normal" womens reactions and im sorry!!! I hope you are able to find some kind of peace with this! I personally would feel suicidal within the day and couldnt live like you are! (but then my issues are more extreme!)
Big hug for you x
men out there jerk off onto their own daughters dirty underware.
this world is a disgrace.
but i just cant be bothered anymore.