Hi Coffeegirl4. I had 2 mcs in 2010, no pg in 2011 and AF was screwed up all 2011 after 2nd mc. DH and I went to RE and there were tests done, I have one closed tube. There were no answers to why I had 2 mcs (9w4d and 10w). RE said we could do what we wanted, fertility meds, IUI, IVF... DH and I decided IVF because it had the highest chances of successful pg. Well last month did cycle of IVF, 10 eggs obtained, all bad quality, only 2 fertilized (still bad quality). Transfered the 2 embryos even though RE said I would have less than 10% chance of live birth resulting from the transfer. It was no big surprise that I got a BFN. The office called and gave me the results, later that day the RE called too because he was shocked at the results, because I am so young (27y). He said it is unusual for someone my age, with all the other results coming back normal (except one tube blocked) to have such bad quality eggs. DH and I are looking at donor profiles as we speak. We are choosing to use donor eggs, so that DH can still be part of the genetic material. We have the $$ support from our parents and my grandma, otherwise we couldn't afford the donor egg option, it is about $22K. I just wanted to let you know that I feel the same thing, all the other women who have used donor eggs are a lot older than me. I can't tell you what steps you should take, but we are looking at donor profiles and deciding what is/isn't important as far as qualities/health... The little advice I can pass on from my RE, it is best to choose a donor who has already had successful donations. We may/may not use a donor who has donated before, our clinic doesn't have a huge list of donors which have had successful donations. Please feel free to message me if you have any specific questions that I might help you with. *hugs*

Welcome Coffeegirl4. I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. You have the come to the right place. While our stories are very different, at the end of the day, we had to deal with the same issue. The ladies here are amazing and can offer super support and guidance. Due to DE, we are blessed with a 19 month old son and are 27 weeks pregnant with another boy from the same DE cycle. Being pregnant, feeling your little one wiggle in your belly then holding that precious baby is the end result... regardless of where the egg came from. Best of luck on your journey! xoxox
Martha

Thanks Martha! Congratulations on your miracle babies - how exciting! After meeting with my therapist last night, who ended up adopting children due to her infertility, I'm feeling much better today about the possibility of donor eggs. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, get it together and move forward. Even though I've only been on this site for 24 hours, it's already helped tremendously communicating with women who are going through or have gone through the same process. God Bless!

Glad to hear you had a good meeting! Don't beat yourself up too much.. it's a lot to take it! Even tho I knew going into to my marriage at 42 this was probably my fate, I still had to mourn the lost of my bio babies for 4 months before I was ready to move forward. I do believe in my heart of hearts that the boys I have are the ones I am SUPPOSE to have. Glad the site is helping... I've been here almost 3 years now and it still helps me everyday! xoxo

Hi coffeegirl. I was 27 when I found out that both of my tubes were blocked. I went through 5 unsuccessful IVF cycles producing four or less eggs per cycle when my new RE finally checked my FSH and found out that my level was very high. I am now 35 and we are getting ready to do our second donor cycle. I wish that we had found out earlier what the problem was so that we did not waste so many years trying with my own eggs. It was hard for me at first to deal with having to use DE, but now all I care about is having my family. Good luck!

MDB - hearing you say that your boys are the ones you are SUPPOSE to have brought tears to my eyes. I've started looking up egg donor sites and I'm becoming more accepting of it each day - it's still hard to think of not being their biological mother but I know that DNA does not make a family :) They will be the most loved children in the world - women who go through something like this, truly appreciate their miracle babies, no matter how they are conceived :)

Christina30 - How high were your FSH levels? Mine have been up to 35!!! My last RE told me she wasn't concerned about it and she has gotten women pregnant before with high FSH levels but my first RE wouldn't stop focusing on my FSH levels and only spoke of donor eggs. Now my new RE (my third!) has been very encouraging so it's so hard to let go of hope. I'm meeting with him next Thursday and finally asking all the questions I've been scared to ask so I'm hoping to have answers which will help me move forward. So happy to hear you have moved forward and like you, I just want to have a family. Do you have a good website to recommend for donor eggs? Again, I plan on asking my RE but I'd like to get a head start.

God Bless you both and thank you so much for the encouragement!

My RE had a donor pool.. that made it so much easier.. plus we was able to "share" a cycle with another couple which made it a lot less expensive since you share the cost of the donor fee, meds, etc. Unsure about DE sites that work well.. your RE will have a recommendation for you.

Glad we can help! :-)

Well I was hoping to have a donor who will only donate once - again I don't know how this works or if that's possible but we have two IVF's left under insurance so we should only have to pay for the actual eggs and fees but again, I haven't really researched it. So much to think about!

My level was 17 and i was told that anything over 10 was high.
My RE has a donor pool and I have told them that i am interested in a proven successful donor.

Hello!
I was 30 when I was dx with high FSH quality and endometriosis. Several RE's said I would never have biological children. I did one IVF for closure and had very poor quality embryos. My result was a negative test. I gave up all hope and a few months later I got pregnant naturally with my son. I was told through most of my pregnancy not to get attached (like that is possible) as he would not live. He is now almost 5 with no health issues. I tried for three more years doing 8 IUI's to get pregnant again. All failed. At age 36 I got pregnant with my beautiful twins who are now one. I did not use birth control at all after they were born. My husband and I had sex once in Jan and I am now three months pregnant naturally. This has happened 8 years after I was told my eggs were poor quality. It is so hard to say what will happen to each person and I know the pain very well.

What I have learned through this experience that genetics do not matter. The love between a mom and her children conquers all the fears of using ed. It just does not matter how they were created. They are all my kids and I never look at one as my biological child and the others as ED. I worried so much about how I would bond etc. It just does not matter. There is nothing like the bond between a mom and her children, no matter how they come to you. I think God picks special moms to go through this joruney. I feel like he picked out the souls who were meant to be my children. Some just needed extra incredients to be made. I know it is a tough journey, but whatever path you take I know you will love your children no matter what. They just are all my kids and that is that. Good luck!

I forgot to mention were from an ED. See how quickly you forget that!

my twins were from an ed

My twins were born from an ED.

I used DE at age 32. This statement below helped me. My son was meant to be my son. He looks and acts like me;) lol

I carried him. My blood is running through his veins. His bellybotton came from me. I think the bellybutton is my connection. We always look at the eggs as "babies", but they are not. It isn't a baby without us, without our husbands, without our wombs. The de are just cells, we make them babies."

I grew my son. Without me, he would not be here. I am his mother in every way. And it is a beautiful thing.

julb - what an amazing story and I love that you don't see your DE babies any differently than you see your biological babies. Over the past week, I've become more at peace with this entire journey and every single of you ladies has helped me tremendously in moving forward. I meet with me RE tomorrow and I'll find out what he thinks I need to do. At the beginning, I felt like I was being punished for going through this, but now, like you, I feel like God truly does pick special people. I'm going to love this baby in a way most mothers will never experience (not saying more, just saying differently). Thanks again for everything - seriously means so much!!!